How's Dean?

Ezekiel Krahlin's
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How's Dean?
11.14.07 (2:14 am)   [edit]

From: Zeke
To: Eleanor
Date: 12 Nov 2007, 06:59:43 PM
Subject: Re: Eleanor, My Muse

Eleanor writes:

{{ Uber cool!!!!!! Love it!!!! }}

Well guess what, E.? I elaborately edited and added to it, and just now 'tis done. Also, I changed the image at top. I think this time around, the essay does you honor. I beg you (pretty please with fair-trade maple syrup on top): go back and read it once more. Actually, I didn't change the first two sections at all. But the'll like IMMENSELY. Again, the URL:

{{ How's it going with Dean....? }}

Mine enemies scared him away from me, two days ago. This has to do with the intrigue I've gotten wrapped up in, that is The Larkin Chronicles. I'm in the middle of a hidden (though EVIL) war, which shall soon be revealed to the world via "Friendly Ghost Detective Agency".

For YEARS there have been people screwing up my relationships, whether friends or buddies. They keep me isolated, and have been doing this now for over 22 years. Some still live in my building. This is NOT a paranoid delusion, it is very REAL. Even w/o this cult on my back, I find the gay community here extremely vindictive and small-minded. So what if you're in a gay 'hood or bar, where it's considerably SAFE from fag bashers. 'Cause vicious queens fill in that gap, whose favorite pastime is to rip up loving relationships between two guys. With gossip, drugs, alcohol, money, violence, you name it. (Oh yeah, I almost forgot: they also employ homophobic homeless people for their dirty schemes!) So you still gotta stay in the closet or (goddess forbid) these nasty homunculi will crawl out of the woodwork and destroy the both of you! It is precisely this hostile atmosphere based on ENVY and POWER that fosters the formation of cults. They thrive in such environments like staphylococci in a petri dish!

These vermin have the dubious honor to star in my essay: "Gay Turncoats in our Midst". Writ ten years ago, I'm troubled to say NOTHING has improved from this sorry state. We have a new methamphetamine epidemic...and I don't know of ANY gay bar that is not controlled by a criminal element. (And they're not even gay, except the runners! IOW: gays remain underlings to hetero overlords, even in their own "gay" hangouts.) Gypsy for example, runs drugs through at least three bars, and he's as hetero as a turd is brown. And that's why the bartender on duty didn't kick him out when he threatened me, LOUDLY: Gypsy owns their souls.) I could go on! But I'll save my strident ranting for "Friendly Ghost".

Dean will come back, once he figures out what's up. I WARNED him about these people...he'd be approached, and they'd gossip bad things to scare him away. He said, "Oh, I can handle that, no problem. NObody'll mess with me". Well, guess what...he probably thought I was making it all up, and when push came to shove, he went down in the first round.

Just what they did with me and Larkin: drove him away, made him think I did some nasty things to get him fired, lose his apartment to fire damage, and get 86'd from all the SOMA bars. Which incidents all occurred within the short span of three weeks! He was even homeless for some weeks; but a "friend" took him in. ("Friend" being a code word for pusher.) THEY did all that, not me...but Larkin will not allow me to speak to him...he'll just rush away with his ears covered. Anywayz, I will win this war, and have him back, too. What really happened was they taught him a painful lesson about choosing friends (such as moi) of whon they don't approve. They DESPISE me.

Now, I have TWO strikingly handsome, tall and sweet buddies AVOIDING me in my own neighborhood. And they both hang out only half-a-block from each other: Larkin, at the Metro bar; Dean, at Church Street Cafe. (Heartbreak Hotel has nothing over me; I'm livin' "Heartbreak 'Hood"!) They haven't yet met, either. But I'm sure they will, eventually. I told Dean about my adventures around Larkin, that he now hangs at the Metro (and drug-dealer Gypsy at the Lucky 13, a straight bar just several doors up).

Dean started: "Hey, I like Lucky 13, I used to go there a lot". So I suggested he resume his patronage: "Do a little spying for me...Gypsy's easy to spot: he looks like a cross between Yosemite Sam and Colonel Sanders". (IOW: a real skank.) "And while we're at it, Dean, why not check out the Metro, see who this guy Larkin is, without him knowing you and I have any association." (Also easy to spot: 6-foot-4, skinny drink of water and damned Randy Travis's better looking and younger brother.)

I said these things a few days before they chased him away. Dean is a great guy; it wouldn't surprise me in the least if he visited both bars to figure things out. He's a hottie too, BTW. In fact, I could never bet on who's more darlin': Dean or Larkin. 'Cause it would be a toss-up each and every time. Except perhaps when Larkin's on a whiskey binge, which is when he looks and smells like a ratty ol' dawg. But even then, he's funnier than a barrel of monkeys with vibrating dildoes. The guy is so excessively funny, I'd say he's a comedic genius. I have never smiled so much in my life, till I discovered The Amazing Kelsey (Larkin's surname). Whenever I think of him, I grin beatific...even now while we're separated by This Wall of Pure Evil, when lesser men than myself would knot their faces in a permanent scowl, gnash their teeth in rage, and plot unutterably wicked vengeance.

Weird, weird, weird...but a remarkable odyssey just the same!

This is a GREAT adventure, and I know it, and I know why...thus I don't get particularly upset any more, now that MOST of the jigsaw pieces have fallen into place. I can finally see the Big Picture, almost completely frozen in Time's Stained Glass:

Ezekiel stands triumphant amid all this chaos and evil pandering. From the Eye of The Hurricane, he snatches his beloved brothers out of The Swirling Abyss. Still dizzy and perturbed by The Storm, they continue to loathe and heckle for a while longer. Though Ezekiel knows that Wing-ed Victory has his back.

Soon, these exquisite men wrested from The Devil's Own Claws (thanks to u-no-hoo), will bicker among themselves for Zeke's hand in domestic partnership!

But Ezekiel could NEVER choose one beauty over another. So what to do, what to do? Draw straws? Hardly! He'll bed down with each buddy, a different one for every day of the year.

"Whoa! Slow down Little Pony!" Victory speaks. "That's the LONGterm goal. At first and for a time, you must settle for each day of the WEEK. Larkin of course, can be your Ice Cream Sundae! Until, that is, when, I mean "Randolph"...finally shows up. Or if Dean doesn't turn on the charm spigot too freely. Then of course there's Jonny, the one who broke your heart which led you to Larkin, and SOMA adventures! Before that: Troy. Oh god, Troy! A conquest unconsummated ("Like all the rest" quips your quicksilver tongue.) It still burns bright, this longing for Troy, like a Beacon for Shipwrecked Sailors. Such valient devotion shall soon be rewarded. My Dear Ezekiel: you shall have him in your arms, with all his glorious manhood and brotherly affection for eternity. I promise you this, and a whole lot more. Beloved Lttle Angel, thou art the Silver Lining in MY Cloud, I tell you what!"(And those silver strands in your hair, no doubt.)

I can't write more on this now, I want to save my declarations in this matter for the Larkin Chronicles. (Wait a minute; I'll simply ADD this letter as the latest chapter: 14. Easy as blueberry pie--my favorite)!

Your Name:

Your Comment:

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