Click here to return home. Zeke for President, 2004

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Ezekiel J. Krahlin


(c) 2001 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)

You know how a guy's gotta go real bad, and can't find a
restroom anywhere near? So what does he do, in desperation?
Find the nearest bush and take a dump on it! And that is
precisely what I believe we need to do NOW, regarding the
brainless bush who thinks he runs this show.

We need a vast, fully-armed militia of loyal patriots--with
gay men and women in positions of leadership--to march on the
White House, take it over, and surrender all prisoners (Bush
and the Presidential Staff) into the highest-security lockup
possible, that they may do no more mischief, ever again. I am
NOT proposing any violence (except in self defense, of course,
as a last resort), assassination, or threat of such. However,
I am proposing the overthrow of our present government, per
the dictates of our brilliant manifesto: "Ernest Goes to the
Bathroom". Allow me to quote from that most noble, most
patriotic document of all time:

---begin quote

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are
created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with
certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life,
Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these
rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their
just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever
any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it
is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to
institute new Government, having its foundation on such
principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them
shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long
established should not be changed for light and transient
causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind
are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than
to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are
accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations
pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce
them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their
duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards
for their future security.


"Declaration of Independence," Microsoft(R) Encarta(R) 97
Encyclopedia. (c) 1993-1996 Microsoft Corporation. All rights

[Zeke comments: "What? Does Micro$oft now claim property
rights over the Declaration of Independence, too? My, this
monopoly has gotten WAY out of hand, and needs to be busted
apart big time! Well, we'll work on that a little later.
Meanwhile, more urgent matters are pressing."]

---end of quote

The usurpation of government must happen on a massive, unified
scale unheard of since World War II's underground resistance.
(Warning: any such attempts to create a militia that excludes
homosexuals, shall perish abruptly.) Local militias everywhere
must take out those government centers known to harbor Enemies
of Democracy. It would be a grievous error and malicious act,
to attack those aspects of our government that continue to
serve her citizens in equitable fashion. This means: protect
and cherish our libraries, social services, and other
benevolent gov't-supported groups and institutions. (Be
warned: Any such groups that harbor homophobic ideas are to be 
tagged immediately as enemy, and shut down. So there will surely 
be some cases where this enemy occupies a library or school, here 
and there...but they are the exception, not the rule).

I have no doubt in my mind, that many in Amerika are totally
aligned with my own feelings, and only need my voice to stir
us into the necessary actions to regain our beloved
democracy...and to nurture it further into fulfillment of our
ideals. (Remember this: a true Amerikan is one who cherishes
*all nations, *all peoples, and *all beliefs, as part of this
great diversity of the Family of Man. And that, since we are
all brothers and sisters under the Sun, there is really
nothing we can't work out together, if we only simmer down.
We're FAMILY, dudes!)

But in this New Amerika will be our contract for homosexual
liberation, as the price to pay for the salvation of our
nation. For it is up to us gay folk, whether or not we lift a
finger to save Amerika from the abyss of horror she so well
deserves. We will also have our own queer nation, "Athenia",
which shall occupy what is now called Northern California,
down to the latitude where the County of Santa Cruz abuts that
of Monterey.

I may go to prison for what I have proposed; even possibly be
charged with treason, and put to death. But as a loyal
patriot, as well as an advocate for the houseless, and
freelance gay activist: I am dedicated to my beliefs 100%. And
if I waited for someone else to take this hot potato and
propose insurrection to the public...well, I just could never
live with myself, any more. However, I would not be surprised
at all, if many others are inspired in like manner, and have
already posted articles similar to mine, on Usenet.

The bloodless coup of the Religious Reich, that gave "W" the
presidency, must now be answered with yet another coup, to
get back what we suddenly lost...and then we may begin to
right all the wrongs committed by that treasonous Bush/Satan
office. I suggest that we reinstate former  Pres. Clinton's
people, until such time The War has ended, and we can resume
the usual ballot process. I believe we already have more than
enough good citizens, right there in our nation's capital, to
pull off such a coup. Let my militia be known as "The Blue
Rose"...which insignia shall identify these loyal soldiers.

May Yom Kippur bless you in abundance with those things that
matter most: friendship, trust, joy, compassion, health,
sanity, devotion, loyalty, and Queer Liberation. (And, of
course, a little ganja each and every day, to tide things

Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Chief Thracian)
September 20, 2001 / 00:01am PST