Baseball: All-American Hetero Opiate


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Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that it remain intact and
complete, including title and credit to the original author:
Ezekiel J. Krahlin.

Ezekiel J. Krahlin
http://www.gay-bible.org
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BASEBALL:  THE ALL-AMERICAN HETERO OPIATE
(A True Tale From The Castro. Eat your heart out, Armistead!)

© 1997 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)


November 24, 1989

Letter to the Editor, B.A.R.
395 Ninth Street
San Francisco, CA 94103-3831


Editor:

     Embittered reply to Peter J. Davey's letter of Nov. 23
(entitled "The American Pastime"):

     Peter, in all the years we've known each other, I've
never heard you talk about baseball, let alone attending even
one game...so why your sudden outrage against an anti-ballpark
letter?  Since we are not presently talking to each other, I
can only assume that you are suffering post-earthquake
anxiety.  Nevertheless:  for shame, Peter, for shame!

     In your final sentence you proclaimed:  "After all,
baseball is the American pastime, and...it is going to remain
that way."  So tell me, Peter, will all those other American
pastimes continue; such as (anti-masturbatory) Mom,
(toxin-sprayed) apple pie, and (God- vindictive) homophobia?
Sorry, Peter, but big-time sports such as baseball, football,
and rape, have always been an outlet for the assertion of the
worst aspects of the (heterosexual) male ego -- at least in
symbol, if not in action!  Since I don't follow sports
schedules, I sometimes find myself riding BART with a crowd of
ugly, beer-guzzling homophobic geeks on the way to the Oakland
Coliseum or Candlestick Park...so don't tell me big-time
sports are not dominated by a faggot-bashing populace!  Can
you blame any gay man (or straight woman) for throwing up at
the thought of perpetuating these nauseating "traditions" of
straight male dominance?

     Peter, since when did you become so macho?  Is it your
Welsh blood boiling (Celtic PMS)?  Or because I don't pop in
at Castro Station anymore, to be your favorite sounding board?
Well, you say that when attending a ballgame (which I doubt
you ever did), you don't make it known to the world you are
gay.  (What you mean is, you don't dare!)  That's only because
homosexuality cannot be identified by the color of your skin,
the shape of your eyes, or any other physical endowment.  You
also claim that the lesbian/gay community supports our
baseball teams...an exaggeration at best.  The fact is, some
do, some don't; just as some support abortion, some don't,
some attend church, some don't, some have safe sex, some
don't, etc.  I feel that those gays who absolutely must have
baseball in their lives, should reserve their activities to
solely gay organizations, such as The Gay Softball
League...and never attend any mainstream heterosexual
ballgames.

     Until now, I've always enjoyed reading your letters to
the editor, for they are written by someone I actually know
(as well as reading your delightful short stories amid the
chaos, noise, and blatant rudeness of Castro Station).  I am
therefore surprised and disappointed (though not necessarily
disillusioned, considering our latest argument) that you chose
a topic unworthy of your brilliant intellect, and smeared it
like used toilet tissue across this newspaper.  (Peter, you
really "struck out" this time!)  Since neither the B.A.R. nor
its readers deserve to be burdened by your post-earthquake
traumas, please phone me to get it off your chest, instead of
writing nasty, vindictive little letters to gay rags. Besides,
you owe me an apology.  (P.S.: I can't stand your new
boyfriend!)

---finis

ADDENDUM: My dear friend Peter has since passed away, two
years after writing this letter was published. I remember what
a good laugh we had over it!