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Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and 
credit to the original author.

Ezekiel J. Krahlin
http://www.gay-bible.org
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THE DANGER OF LUKEWARM FRIENDS

(A True Tale From The Castro. Eat your heart out, Armistead!)

© 2002 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin





From:    "Gay Guy" [I-am-the-best@asm.org]
To:      "Luke Warm" [fake_friends@HetEmpire.bad]
Date:     Sat, 03 Aug 2002
Subject:  The Danger of Lukewarm Friends

8/3/02 10:15:00 AM,  "Luke Warm"  [fake_friends@HetEmpire.bad]
wrote:

  Il Duce-

Please, I prefer to be called "El Presidente"...if you don't
mind. But you seem to have a mind of your own; that's gotta
go!

Apparantly, my angels think it would be such fun to create a
"Banana Republic" scenario for my rise to power. So "Il Duche"
is out, "El Presidente" is in. So is "El Comandante".

| After about an hour with you yesterday, hearing you
| go over and over your plans to rule the world,
| complete with shrill laughter and claims of
| perfection and infallibility, I have reached the
| conclusion that you are utterly mad.

Good for you...then if I'm ever threatened with being cut off
from disability funds, I know I can count on you to defend my
case...but if not, I can always sub-poena. But don't paint me
as the culprit: blame it on September 11, and the horrendous
abuses we who live at 2306 suffered throughout last year,
regarding the emergency building repairs.

| You need to come down off your manic high. Might I
| suggest Lithium?

You can't tell the difference between an elegant sense of
humor and insanity. That's because you were raised to condemn
anyone as "mad" who does not behave precisely like "everyone
else". I just take it to new heights, which is the heart of
San Francisco's abused spirit: humor and wit in the face of
dullards and terrorists. Fortunate for you, you are classified
under the former. You just don't know how to have fun, poor
soul-- you're what some circles would call, a "killjoy".

Please consider that I am a brilliantly-gifted artist, who
uses life as the Ultimate (and favorite) Canvas. This is my
latest work in progress: my attempts to run for President
while still classified as poor, unemployed, receiving gov't
stipend, blatantly homosexual, AND borderline schizophrenic
and manic-depressive. That is the challenge life presents me;
that is the challenge I answer...in my own inimitable way. It
is my hope that this latest work will exceed the good results
I achieved in my last opus,  "The Somalian Affair".

| Until you decide to take more responsibility for
| your mental health and come to grips how you are
| coming across, I wish you (once again) good luck.

Responsibility? A society that scorns me for having some sort
of mental disability, denies me decent labor, denies me a
decent home, denies me a decent community, denies me continued
care of my miserable teeth, denies me any other decent medical
care (and they're supposed to be our HEALERS?)... all because
I don't have a fat wallet. And then you tell me about
"reponsibility?" I'm just giving back to the world what it
dished out to me. And I'm right, they're wrong... nothing
could be clearer than that: THEM who persecute the poor and
the homosexual, versus US who only want to enjoy life. There
are no shades of gray in this man's army.

| Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device:
| Click Here

I clicked and clicked, and clicked, but you know what?

No one's home.

P.S.: My spontaneous mockery of this comic tragedy we call
humanity, sadly eludes you. I'm having a heck of a  lot of
fun, while you stand on the sidelines whimpering, worrying
over your busy little hands whether or not you should assume
the "responsibility" to "turn me in". Don't even go there, as
I don't hate you, and wouldn't want to see you suffer the ugly
consequences of betraying a Friend To All Queers. But if you
do,  tell 'em this: "Randolph Louis Taylor sent me".

P.P.S.: I enjoyed your visit, and your delicious little e-mail
that followed. You certainly know how to  include a "sense of
closure" to friendly get-togethers! If you can better control
your erroneous use of judgment, I'll be more than glad to see
you again.

P.P.P.S.: Vote for me!

-- 
Vote for Zeke in double-oh-eight,
Or right-wing goons will seal your fate!