-------------------------------------------------------------- Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this writing free of charge (including translation into any language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom, and that it remain intact and complete, including title and credit to the original author. Ezekiel J. Krahlin http://www.gay-bible.org -------------------------------------------------------------- LETTER TO TERRY 11/7/98 (A True Tale From The Castro. Eat your heart out, Armistead!) ©1998 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin Nov. 7, 1998 Dearest Terry, I got these cookies for cheap at Canned Foods, and I hope they put a little brightness in your morning. I am awfully sorry for our falling out, but I cannot have you over any more. I do still love you, and always will...and I certainly do not hate you. I will remain your friend, though it must be on the streets, and not in my room. It was quite obvious your were high on crack or speed, or something else equally toxic. And your raising your voice at me, and making unkind demands, made me realize the drug was taking over...so the only thing I could do was tell you to leave. It was wrong for you to insist I don't need to sleep when I do, and that you should be able to crash at my place whenever you so please. This is not the same Terry I grew to know and love in the previous weeks. When not "under the influence", you are a remarkably kind, affectionate, and humorous man...really, a cut above most other men, definitely with lots of class. This is the Terry I have fallen in love with. Your kind embraces and sweet words have filled my heart to overflowing. So I am honored to know the real Terry. Unfortunately, your attitude changed and deteriorated the last three days we've been together...and that last day was the worst. I do not deserve such nasty treatment. Probably, you still believe I am the one who is wrong...but I assure you, Terry, you were losing control over the situation, and abusing our friendship. To not have you leave at that point, would be a violation of my self respect...and would open the door to further abuse on your part. Your admission of your wrong is the first step to healing yourself. I will light a candle each night for you, and pray that you somehow cease putting toxic substances into your system. For without that drug, you are 100% wonderful...and the sky's the limit for a go-getter and remarkable man such as yourself. But "under the influence", you are a mess, and make me feel so ashamed for your behavior. Please, for your sake and mine (and most importantly, for your daughters!), do not let some stupid drug tear you down to the gutter. You really have so much going for you, and it is not too late to shake off the devil's poison. If it's any consolation, please know that I also have forbidden Steve from ever visiting me again. That's because the same morning I asked you to leave, Steve was found by the building manager, sleeping on the back porch. Steve said he had my permission, so the manager phoned me to ask what's going on. He certainly did NOT have my permission (and I did NOT know he was sleeping there; I thought he had left the building after visiting me)...and this violation of my trust, which also threatens my living situation, has put Steve in the doghouse, too. I am now under watch by the manager and his friends...and having you or Steve over any more, is likely to lead to my eviction. If I get kicked out of this building, I will NOT remain in San Francisco. In fact, I won't even remain in California. If I must become homeless, there is another state and city I will go to...and I will not tell anyone in San Francisco, where that will be. So please stay away from my residence... and I will see you in and around Castro Street, and do what I can for you, as a friend and lover. Unless, of course, this does not please you. ---finis