The Friendly Ghost Detective Agency - Part 3

Ezekiel Krahlin's
Gay Rants & Queer Insights

Blog For Free!

2008 July
2008 June
2008 May
2008 April
2008 March
2008 February
2008 January
2007 December
2007 November
2007 October
2007 September
2007 March
2007 February
2007 January
2006 August
2006 May
2006 April
2006 March
2006 January
2005 December
2005 November
2005 October
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 June
2004 May

My Links
Steal This Blog

My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images


The Friendly Ghost Detective Agency - Part 3
11.22.07 (12:33 am)   [edit]


About this Woody character. He is one of those street goons who rants and gestures violently in public, making the Castro a miserable experience for tourists and residents alike.

Since he was driven out, another fruit-loop has taken that place, Dane...who is even crazier than Woody. And though gay himself, behaves very homophobically. He's quite tall, dirty blond curly hair, skinny and usually scruffy in appearance, straight out of a Dickens novel. Stalks, harasses people in the Castro (including yours truly), screams at the top of his lungs. Threatening behavior bordering on violence. NOT a pleasant encounter for any tourist or resident wanting to enjoy The Castro.

UPDATE 7/7/08: The San Francisco Bay Guardian foolishly glorified Dane as one of San Francisco's great eccentrics! Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. Obnoxious hobos are a dime a dozen, and can easily be found in ANY city anywhere in the world. OMG, they even label him a "Good Samaritan". Where's a barf bag when ya need one? Well, at least they provide a pic of him, that you may steer clear of this bogus do-gooder:

I do give Dane credit for yanking an accident victim out of a burning car. Yet his horrid behavior (which is most of the time) spreads much misery throughout our bedraggled community. Another example of the police failing to do their job (by an appropriately forceful reprimand and temporary expulsion from our streets), when they could easily do so.


Before anyone takes offense, allow me this redeeming (and LIKELY) hypothesis:

Such a unique destiny as mine demands an equally unique challenge, most important: a TOUGHENING of one's mettle. The usual nurturing friendships would surely NOT fulfill This Mandate From Up Above. I therefore extend my utmost gratitude to both my enemies and seemingly clueless friends alike, for having the GUTS to play this out: a most difficult and massively grievous role, albeit sacred.

"We have no enemies, only teachers." (Buddha)

"Love thine enemies." (Jesus)


I tried being friends with Woody many times, but he always winds up harassing me while pretending he doesn't know what he's doing. Playing the "mentally disturbed" card to trick soft-spined liberals into believing he can't help himself. (I'm a HARD-spined liberal, FYI.) He also feigns homelessness, which he is not, in order to garner dollars from sympathetic (though clueless) passersby. I frequent a coffeehouse on Church near Market...and so does Woody (who bears a hilarious resemblance to Buzz Lightyear of Toy Story fame). He will interrupt and "act out" whenever I'm sitting outdoors, trying to meet guys. Jumping around like an ape and hollering weird phrases, so that my possible friend is scared away from both that coffeehouse and myself. Woody does this INTENTIONALLY. It is a homophobic reaction at my harmless attempts to cruise the cute ones.

In general, associating with Woody condemns me to social loneliness...which is "his plan" all along. I once designed a button just for him,

in hopes of winning him over towards respecting me. Didn't work. But that's not the worst of it:

Six years ago I was bashed by a gay crack-head named Matthew. Not seriously mind you, as I had a strong friend nearby who stopped it; but my attacker got away. Matthew did terrorize me however. While I was still in his grip (after he smashed my head against the wall several times, sudden-like), said: "Next time I see you, I'm gonna eat the skin off your face." (A Hannibal Lector wanna-be, no doubt.)

At that time, my apartment building was covered in thick, black gauze for stucco removal and replacement, with scaffold surrounding the entire structure, from the first floor to the fourth.

This meant ANYONE and his homeless cousin could easily clamber onto the makeshift boards and rap on a resident's window, begging for a cigarette (which DID happen at least once). Or break in and steal...or bash, or rape, or murder. Worse yet, the illegal Mexican laborers hired by our slumlord were typically homophobic, making all sorts of gay-hateful comments while standing on the scaffolds, beside our apartment windows and peering in. I know because I heard them, and "Yo entiendo espanol". (There was a lawsuit over this BTW, by 13 outraged residents including myself; a year later we won. I got $8,000...though it should've been $40,000. More on that later.)

So naturally I was frightened that Matthew could be lurking somewhere nearby, and at any moment climb the scaffolding and break into my room. (He did know where I lived; for in the past he was very mellow, and I enjoyed his visits.) I slept with heavy furniture blocking my two windows, that I may have a fighting chance to fend a surprise attack. It was a NIGHTMARE manifest in real life...very Freddy Kreuger.

During this time, someone would buzz my room every few days, via the front gate intercom, and speak in a gravelly tone: "I'm gonna get you, I'm the DEVIL." Of course, I feared it was Matthew. This would go on EVERY DAY for almost three months. It wasn't until several weeks after it stopped, I learned that WOODY was the culprit. He disguised his voice well.

So after all these years trying to temper Woody's scary behavior, I finally gave up and told him to NEVER speak or go near me again. Of course he didn't take me now after almost five months ignoring him, he is bothered by my aloofness, and threatens to be, once again, an unpleasant and dangerous stalker in my social meanderings. But I have a STRONG will, and will deal with it accordingly. I understand he is out of jail on his own recognisance (don't know for what), and the slightest slip-up could land him back behind bars.

Unfortunately, street denizens like Dane and Woody are NOT the exception, but the RULE of what's come down in the Castro regarding the street scene, what with all the homophobic homeless who claim turf rights here in the Castro. They in fact DRIVE OUT, HARASS and BASH whatever gay homeless may attempt to find sanctuary in this, the supposedly-GAYEST neighborhood on the planet. The hetero homeless BICKER and FIGHT in broad daylight, as if even their hetero clashes were far more righteous than any gay couple holding hands. And the POLICE do nothing to thwart--let alone discourage--these hillbilly antics.

The streets of San Francisco have become frighteningly dangerous as a result of The City's own failure to be truly gay friendly (except in lip service). I suspect that our local government's "gay friendliness" draws the line between the affluent and the low income and poor. Dumping the homeless (who are MOSTLY hetero, ergo homophobic) in gay neighborhoods is an effective social engineering strategy to keep queers in their place, and discourage them from rebelling and taking civil disobedience to the streets. I've met numerous homeless gays who are terrorized, bashed, and driven out of the Castro by the majority homeless who are HETERO in proclamation.

Violent ex-convicts are released by California's prison system, into the big cities (Sacramento, Los Angeles and San Francisco) stranded on the streets where they must fend for themselves. This turns neighborhoods into dangerous breeding grounds for violent crimes (and break-ins) that often go unchecked by our local police force. Gay neighborhoods are especially vulnerable.

Intelligent ex-cons manipulate the dumber homeless to terrorize neighborhoods so they can have the streets to themselves at night, and more easily run drugs, burglarize, mug and in general cause whatever mayhem suits their mood. They even share maps in prison of the gay neighborhoods, bars, and amicable connections. (You can learn a LOT as a gay street activist, if you're not afraid to get your hands dirty...along with certain OTHER body parts!) So when they're on the outside again and need a place to hole up (or hide out), just where do you think they go? To a GAY BAR to hook up with some desperate middle-aged fag too stupid to know better. Remember the brutal murder of a longterm patron out of the (now-defunct) black gay bar, the Pendulum (due to reopen after being closed for three years, god help us)?

That was commited by a street tough, Jim McKinnon, who was couch hopping one gay residence after another.

He even stayed for a couple weeks at the apartment of weekday bartender "Joey" (that short Portugese guy w/Russel terrier "Jackie O"; I can't remember his real name), before moving in with patron Gary Lee. In fact, he impressed everyone there (including myself) with his good nature. Even paid me a back-handed compliment among the afternoon patrons: "You know," he said pointing directly at me from the far end of the bar, "if I didn't know Zeke so well, I'd be afraid of him." That gave me a warm glow, and I later thought: "Hmmm, Jim's not such a bad guy after all, and kinda good lookin'. Maybe I WILL have him over." Little did anyone know at that time, he had already committed the murder...the corpse of the gay man who housed him was still rotting in the bathtub, covered with a mountain of baking soda! Fortunately, that was the last time "good ol' palsy-walsy Jim" made his appearance at the Pendulum, and the last time I saw him. A week later the news broke; he was arrested, awaiting trial. Scary to say, but he's up for parole in another year. And just where do you think he'll seek company and comfort? Three guesses!

Reflecting on this gnarly case, I'd like to bring up something just as sinister, if not more so, regarding the Pendulum regulars. I first got wind of this crime when I heard them talking in a huddle. Asked them what's up, and they told me that a regular had just been murdered, by this guy Jim. I shuddered to think it was the same "Jim" I had befriended there, and was visiting me every four days or so, to smoke some pot and hang out. So I asked them to descirbe this Jim. They hemmed and hawed, would only divulge that he was white and "average" looking, with an "average" build, and "average" height. They refused to give me any further description, acting like they really couldn't: he was just that average.

So of course I stopped seeing my Jim for a while...'cause he's an average looking guy, too! Imagine how I felt, these regulars hoping to set me up to become McKinnon's next victim! I asked and asked around the Pendulum, and those who knew him, refused to say more, but that he was "average". They certainly didn't have my best interests at heart! This is a prime example of what a wicked streak runs through so MANY of my gay brothers...whether black or white, rich or poor, handsome"average". And such wickedness nurtures cults into existence, like feeding human flesh to that alien plant, Audrey Jr., in Little Shop of Horrors.

Jim will not be the first murderer of a gay victim to be released, and found once more socializing in The Castro. Years ago, my friend John H. (who then lived at 2306 Market as I still do) pointed out to me, a sleazeball standing on the sidewalk by Andy's Donut Shop. "He strangled [so-and-so], and served eight years in the poky. Can you believe he's back?"

The shit piles up! I wonder how many other murderers mingle DAILY in our gay bars and sex clubs? Does that give you a boner, or what? Another ex-convict, "Monty" terrorized our neighborhood for two years before being locked up again.

He'd stand on the corner of Castro and Market, big, black and intimidate anyone and everyone within his immediate locale. His favorite pastime was intimidating peaceful white homeless dudes, especially the gay ones. "What are YOU looking at?" was his particular phrase of choice. I saw danger written all over him: but he saw something in me that would make him run the other direction whenever I approached. (Wasn't body odor or bad breath, I guarantee! And it certainly wasn't my size; I'm only five-foot-seven.)

One evening while watching the news, Monty's face appeared on the TV screen. He was wanted for the brutal beating of his current girlfriend, gouging out her eyeball before he fled. (I'd say the lady made a poor choice in a partner, wouldn't you, girlfriend?) Now just where do you think he ran to when the heat was on? To The Castro of course, where he entered the Pendulum in hopes of finding urgent refuge. But a police officer had to die in a car chase turned bad (first gay cop to perish in the line of duty BTW),

and his partner suffer brain damage, before Monty was finally apprehended. A youth scholarhsip award was established in 2006, to honor Jon Cook's heroic life.

(See my article "Murders in the Rue Castro for additional comment on this, and other heinous crimes which haunt our community, as a direct consequence of society's willful homophobia, and The City's failure to respect its own gay citizens by any significant measure, right here in so-called "Gay Mecca".)

Bagdad Cafe on the corner of Market & 16th WELCOMES this filthy, smelly hobo to occupy a sidewalk table...every single friggin' day!

Why would anyone even want to EAT there, let alone sit BESIDE this bacteria-laden freakazoid? Are they INSANE? Am I missing something? Is THIS the best The Castro can offer its gay tourists? WHY would any business in Gay Mecca willfully CHOOSE to insult and undermine a queer community's hard-won reputation?

This is NOT compassion, this is community sabotage. Is that how heteros perceive gay neighborhoods: as a DUMP for their refuse, including human detritus that project HATRED and homophobia as their contribution to the cause of Gay Sanctity? BITING the hands that feed them, just because we're QUEER? Fee fi fo fum, I smell a CULT around this bum! Boycott the place, and tell 'em WHY. Bring 'em to their knees and make them cry!

As if this weren't bizarre enough, Bagdad Cafe seems to GENERATE homophobic filth of its own accord. Click here to read of an incident in October 2002, when some crazed bozo RAN INTO the Bagdad Cafe, grabbed two butcher knives from the cook's station, and THREATENED people with it (screaming "faggots" at the top of his lungs), until a cop shot him dead! Worse yet, the family threatened to SUE the SFPD, and blamed the gay community's own drug problems for this idiot's violent outburst. Read MY take on the matter (click here), where I CHASTISE the lunatic's family, and PRAISE the police. Still MORE bizarre is the fact that the cop who killed "Akbar" was the partner of the first gay policeman (Jon Cook, see above) to die in the line of duty while attempting to apprehend ANOTHER crazed street denizen! Only four months PREVIOUS to the Bagdad fiasco.

My conjecture is this was a SETUP, not simply an unhappy incident due to society's homophobia. And the employer and perhaps some employees are BEHIND this obvious design to devastate our gay community, and bring FURTHER violence upon us. The Zodiac cult has their filthy hand in the Bagdad Cafe, and goddess only knows how many OTHER businesses here in The Castro.

Not all the homeless are bad; indeed I AM a homeless advocate...and once had many, decent houseless friends until things turned wicked over 15 years ago. But I most certainly am NOT a bullshit advocate. The Castro has been FLOODED with homeless redneck types who terrorize neighborhoods, particularly gay people and women. They especially don't like yours truly, for my brazen gay presence and attempts to make the neighborhood safer by blowing the whistle on this rampant homophobia that has become the Law Of The Asphalt. Keep in mind that MOST of these thugs are bisexual themselves. But they're only "gay" for money, drugs, food or shelter (I call this "street capitalism"). The rest of the time, they swagger around doing their "macho thang"...which includes threatening and bashing homosexuals. Can't tell you how many times I hear late at night, these hillbilly goons hollering "faggot" from the top of their toxic lungs.

They make it a source of PRIDE to argue in public with their "wimmen" a display of hetero rightness to teach us queers a lesson about Mother Nature's Proper Decorum. They think nothing of aggressively panhandling you, even scaring you into "buying protection" when you're on the streets...and if you decline, call you "faggot" behind your back, in front of your back, and to the side of your back. Even many GAY houseless play the homophobe card, in order to reduce the danger of being fag-bashed themselves. My life is often put in harm's way due to my notoriety, whenever I walk the streets of Gay Mecca's Heart. For this reason I composed my wicked little farce, "Welcome to Hoboville" in 2003...a kick in the groin to This Enemy Occupation. I also carry pepper spray and wear steel-toe boots.

But most shocking of all, is how many gay people themselves gain sadistic pleasure in my troubles! Rather then offer a hand in friendship (or call 911), they ENCOURAGE these 'phobes to harass me. In fact, I've been left out in the cold by my own community. No matter which pro-queer group I join, I wind up being vilified, isolated, and driven out. (No matter how GOOD my intentions, and EFFECTIVE my strategies.) My conclusion is that there is a powerful cult embedded (and in bed with) our LGBT family, manipulating who can and cannot be part of their world. The internalized homophobia of my gay brothers plays to their advantage...along with substance abuse, misogyny, racism and class snobbery. They grabbed the reigns of power during the Harvey Milk Era, and have grown overwhelmingly strong and far-reaching SINCE then...running ALL the gay bars and clubs here in San Francisco, AND our organizations. And, worst of all, they have festered into a nationwide carbuncle of toxic pus.

Speaking of San Francisco's dangerous streets: I was surprised and delighted to read Caille Millner's take on the shifty bums that have turned this Walker's Paradise into a dark and scary pedestrian nightmare: "Back to the Streets of San Francisco" (S.F. Chronicle, 11/2/07). A bluntly honest and condemning piece of journalism; she's a brilliant (and lovely) young woman! Do promise you'll take a gander...please, please, please. (SUPER pretty please with agave nectar on top!)

Caille and others ARE waking up to how dangerous our streets have become, and how this ties in directly with homophobia. But she, like others, only perceives the tip of the iceberg...and would regard my strident claims as nothing more than a nut job's conspiracy theory. And that is precisely how this cult operates: surreptitious and diabolical. Using wicked gossip to make Truth-Speakers like me come off as blatheringly insane. Which in turn, makes potential friends my enemies...and true friends nonexistant. At best, I've managed to have friendly acquaintances over these difficult years. Some who read this now, consider themselves a good friend. But don't friends hang out with each other on a regular basis...go out for coffee and shmooze? Not meaning to guilt-trip anyone here, but I DO want to point out: That is not happening! (And you can't blame a hectic lifestyle on this, as you DO find the time to spend with others you regard as amigos.) Please realize you are unwittingly being manipulated by cult members using subtle persuasion and crowding your social time to keep me at bay. But I'm not knocking what I DO have:

I need all the friendly acquaintances I can get!

[ Table Of Contents ]

Tomorrow's installment: SOMA: SOUTH OF MARKET ANUSES

Allies: New chapter! Time to download the updated
(Delete the previous one.) Thanks!

posted by: Peggy C. (reply)
post date: 12.16.07 (2:56 pm)

Is he the one who draws? I thought he was a good
artist, what do you think?

posted by: ZekeBlog (reply)
post date: 12.16.07 (2:58 pm)

Yes. He is a good artist. But that doesn't make him a good person. Talent does not equal Righteousness.

I knew him when he first showed up: kept neat and clean, not surrounded by filth. I offered to help him get disability funds. He just scowled at me and said "I don't take gov't handouts!"

As the months passed, he grew ever more hostile, until you see him as he is today. He is NOT so disabled as to not comprehend how his horrid appearance and grooming are a DETRIMENT to our already overly stressed gay neighborhood. He is NOT an innocent lamb by any means, Peggy!

He NEVER has a smile for me: instead, he glares and scowls. The ONLY reason a relative STRANGER would behave like that, is he's been INSTRUCTED to, via certain resident gossips. One being Carl Betza, another Mark Fisher. And maybe one or two or three others. I can't keep up with their endless shenanigans!

The nastiest, most ROTTEN (hence homophobic) homeless are being corralled into the Castro. Specifically to keep queers terrorized and in their place! A form of social engineering, in which a certain segment of the SFPD and City Hall partake. This is discussed extensively in my Friendly Ghost tales.

This Zodiac Cult is EXTREMELY surreptitious in its devilry. Their traps and attacks are DESIGNED to be so bizarre in their manifestation, as to sound COMPLETELY unbelievable when a victim of their skulduggery attempts to describe the incident to a clueless "outsider". Hence, I come off as a nut jub. But here's a little trick I've learned:

ANYONE who speaks of me as having a few loose screws (even in a seemingly light-hearted manner), or even so much as accuses me of being lost in my own fantasies (as Mark Fisher has)...know that's not at all true. They are simply impressing devious notions about me on as many surrounding souls as possible. What words seem at first gentle and innocuous ("all in jest"), on second consideration reveal themselves as a constant, gushing well of gossip, like some sewer main explosion.

To perpetually mock me before others is a simple social engineering technique to brainwash others from liking me, to say the least. It can, when gossiping anti-Zeke dreck to the mentally unstable and/or speed addicted, lead to physical violence.

posted by: Pharm18 (reply)
post date: 03.17.08 (2:29 am)

Very nice site!

posted by: ZekeBlog (reply)
post date: 03.17.08 (8:37 pm)

Thanks for the kudos, Pharm18! Do stay in touch.

Your Name:

Your Comment:

Task force set to cut same-sex domestic violence
LA Daily News
Jul 7, 4:46 PM
The Supreme Court and the future of marriage
Jul 7, 4:46 PM
What the 'pregnant man' didn't deliver
Jul 7, 2:28 PM
Sci-fi writer Thomas Disch commits suicide
The Advocate
Jul 7, 2:08 PM
Charming children's book deals with gay marriage
Centre Daily Times
Jul 7, 1:49 PM
Gay Episcopal bishop sees hope for progress
San Francisco Chronicle
Jul 7, 1:38 PM
24-hour help for gay youth
Jul 7, 12:50 PM

More Headlines

About BladeWire
Add BladeWire to your site