Queer Reality TV


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Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and 
credit to the original author.

Ezekiel J. Krahlin
http://www.gay-bible.org
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QUEER REALITY TV COMES OF AGE
(a parable for the 21st century)

© 2006 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)


GIRD YOUR LOINS, GENTLEFAGS...ON THE COUNT OF 10, RUN!

 

The BEST show we could have at this point--at least, for trash
television--is your queer dating game. And just forget about
having any sort of hetero cachet to make the show "okay" in
the eye of the hetero-thug masses.

We should also have--on a more serious note--a well-written
detective show where the star's sidekick is his (or her)
same-sex lover. (Oh, wait, we already had that: Cagney &
Lacey...har, har! And those names: reminiscent of a tough
hetero Hollywood gangster James Cagney, and a very feminine
material, because it's "lacy"...talk about role playing.)

I'm afraid though, that all this "loosening up" about gay
presence on Amerikan TV will lead to:

GIRD YOUR LOINS (Sundays, 8-9pm MSNBC)

Amerika having OUTLAWED the very notion of even BEING
homosexual, this new reality show,"Gird Your Loins", is a form
of creative sentencing on those godless, sexual-minority
perverts.

And since DEATH is the mandatory sentence for ANY form of
action or speech that is not solidly heterocentric, anything
goes! Torture? Sure, it's the logical next-step in queer
television. But the torture spot will be merely an APPETIZER
for the show's entree.

A gaggle of lispy homosexuals from Federal Security Prison's
Death Row are released into this or that great Amerikan
wilderness...a half-day ahead of our red-blooded hetero
hunters (selected from a TV Guide lottery). The desperate
queers will be hunted down in some of the most sensational and
dramatic scenery to grace our national parks: God's Country.

Nano-cameras are implanted EVERYWHERE in the wilderness
(thanks to KingGeorgeThe3rdClone), so no interesting scenes
will be lost for (hetero) human enjoyment, ever...not even the
most subtle nuances of terror, grief, and death-throe release
on poor queers' faces. All in high-definition TV for the
(hetero) viewer's ultimate enjoyment.

Interactive online selections by viewers will influence each
hunter's choice of weapon, and method of targeting and hunting
down the worthy victim. And best of all: they will also have
some control over redirecting the escape routes of a queer
they personally select on Gird Your Loins' web site. You can
make a grizzly bear pop up when least expected, a sudden flood
across a meadow...even small avalanches that threaten to crush
the hopes of the escapee, if not the escapee itself! (And
those hot love-making scenes before they are sent to
hell...those desperate expressions of needfulness and holding
onto each other...oh my, no wonder the show's on Sunday prime
time.)

And since viewers actually PARTICIPATE in the hunt, this is
the first reality show EVER, to be a real-life SIM adventure.
So sign up now for your Breeder Cable subscription, and join
one of the most elite and respected TV viewing services in the
(hetero) galaxy!


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The sky fell long ago,
So now we sing ballads
Of Chicken Little's woe.

The wolves now lurk 
Beneath our skin,
Gorging themselves on the fat
Of our sins.

And when we're plump
With no regrets,
We'll watch the wolves
On TV sets.

---finis