© 1997 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)

As a student of religion and world views for many years--and a homosexual to boot--I'd like to share some theories I have on the liberating role Christianity will ultimately have for lesbians and gay men:

Christianity is so obviously a religion of homosexuality, that I can't believe our Western cultures are taking so long (centuries) to come around to that realization! In both the Old and the New Testament, there is not one mention of God's wife, mistress, or girlfriend. And the New Testament, of course, is the incredible story of a Father's love for His Son, and vice versa. The fundamentalists will be the first to tell you that...for in their eyes, it is indeed "The Greatest Story Ever Told". No woman ever appears in this tale, to interfere with their adoration of each other! If this isn't a homosexual affair, then I don't know what is.

(We could also consider their relationship pedophilic as well... however, we must not judge God and His Son from our own vulgar, human perspective, now should we? God's Son was not born of woman's womb, nor did God have to love a woman to conceive His Son. In fact, God created His Son as a projection of His Psyche as it emerged from His Spirit. (I mean, c'mon, do you think the universe got its start from heterosexual boinking? And just how do you think the Angels came to be? Surely not between a woman's legs!) Therefore, Jesus is not any kind of son in the human sense...thus their relationship is not pedophilic... instead, it is the Creator loving His First Created. It is beautiful; and it is homosexual.)

The New Testament was originally written in the Greek tongue, and is infused with Greek traditions, culture, and mythology...and you know how pro-homosexual were the ancient Greeks! So Christianity, from my point of view, is an embellishment--or perhaps a furtherance--of the pantheon of tales in what we term "Greek Mythology". Jesus seems to be another manifestation of Apollo, the God of the Sun's rays and hence, healing. If you know your Bullfinch, you know that the word "heal" comes from "Helios," an earlier name for Apollo. You'll also know that Apollo often interceded between God's wrath and mankind...usually as a reincarnate in the guise of a humble peasant, farmer, or craftsman. He'd live among the common folk in order to understand their needs, desires, foibles and strengths.

Time and time again, Apollo pleaded with His Father, Zeus, to not chastise an entire city-state for the crime of an individual. But Zeus would not listen, and often punished Apollo for His upstart behavior. However, in His reincarnation as Jesus, Apollo finally got Zeus to pay attention. And this is most interesting...for Zeus was portrayed as having a wife, while Jehovah is not! If you extrapolate from my theory that Christianity is an extension of Greek mythology...then you may conclude that--once Apollo made this supreme sacrifice--Zeus fell hopelessly in love with his radiant son, never to even look at Hera again, or even acknowledge her existence. For no Greek god or goddess before this time, had performed such an heroic, absolutely selfless feat of love...so magnificent as to draw the loving attention of The Creator Himself, for all eternity. Thus began not only a new chapter, but a new book, and a new direction, in Greek mythology...the new book being The New Testament, and the new direction, Christianity.

The life of Alexander the Great is a clear parallel to my theory...especially if you believe in reincarnation, and that Apollo has reincarnated numerous times on earth. I believe that Apollo, three centuries prior to incarnating as Jesus Christ, was born as Alexander of Macedonia. It is known that Alexander believed he was God's son, and searched for his father far and wide...never to be joined with him again, until death. I believe that, when a god incarnates as a fleshly mortal, he may lose some or all of his memory as to who he really is. (This would depend on the deity's mission.) If such be true, then Alexander may have been correct: he was the Son of God. And here's a startling parallel that Alexander's father, King Phillip, had with Zeus:

His wife, Olympia, was a vicious shrew who tormented her husband, and all her family to no end. She wanted so badly for Alexander to inherit the throne, that she poisoned her other son, Phillip Junior...who became retarded as a result. This was the last straw for King Phillip, who never slept with Olympia again, and took only soldiers to bed with him from then on. So Phillip, like Zeus, ceased to have a wife. I surmise that Phillip may even have been God Himself incarnate, right there beside his brave son, Alexander--though neither suspected. (I actually believe that God and His Son are reincarnated together in each generation...sometimes to rediscover one another in each magnificent real-life adventure; in animated 3-D, yet!)

Both Apollo and Jesus temper God's wrath to man. They each are healers. The rays of light surrounding Jesus are the same rays used to depict the Sun God, Helios (or Apollo). And of course, the New Testament was first written in the Greek tongue. But Apollo was also the bringer of plague. So, like Jesus Christ, he held the keys to heaven in one hand, and those to hell in the other. This brings us to the present age, and the present plague: AIDS. The metering out of plagues is not necessarily an act of punishment...but may be a tempering of the human soul that, though exceedingly painful, may deepen our spirits in the long run.

AIDS is God's judgment...not of homosexuals, but of straight society. That is: a test to see just how much compassion heterosexuals shower upon gays as a result of AIDS. I'd say the track record is poor, and vengeance shall soon be wrought in the form of a New Passover. The firstborn of every Bible-thumping homophobic couple shall be struck dead (unless the child is Hellenic). A plague will then sweep over this world, and decimate our populations so that humans won't be so numerous, and mother nature may heal and breathe freely once more. The human population will stabilize at one billion.

By then, we will have established a new, and final, religion that will span the globe to incorporate all different cultures while preserving the uniqueness of each one. It will be a remarkable fusion of wisdom and love, and revere the homosexual state as the highest form of human consciousness. It will also put an end to senseless breeding and overpopulation. Could you say "Amen" to this? I sure could!

My heavily testosteronized discourse must have offended most lesbian readers at this point, so it's only fair that I add another conjecture on behalf of our better sex. That, once the human race enters the state of mind known to Christians as "heaven," a whole mirror universe shall reveal itself, where the supreme deity is Goddess, and her great love is her daughter. (After all, Hera needed to do something with all that free time, once Zeus went totally ga-ga for Apollo!)

---finis