(5/22/02 5:12:33 pm)
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| Origin Of Evil|
Once upon a time--long long before Adam & Steve were created--Jehovah realized that the universe could never be complete without something called "evil". He tried to explain this to the Host of Angels (his only companions at that early time; though numbering in the hundreds), but they were all confused and aghast at this shocking concept. All that is, but one: Lucifer. When the Big Cheese saw that only Little Lucy was not aghast, he called him into his inner chamber, where they could be alone. (Servant Gabriel poured them each a pot of lavender tea before departing behind the curtains.)
"Hey Little Buddy," stated the Good Master, "why aren't you also shocked by my proclamation?" To which Lucky replied: "My Father, of course I am confused, but I'd never be judging you. After all, you're our Creator...so even if I don't comprehend one of your decisions, I still trust you. I could never conceive of you ever doing any wrong...even though this is the FIRST TIME I have become perplexed by anything you've ever said or done."
Jehovah contemplatively sipped his tea, then leaned forward. "You don't really grasp what evil is all about, do you?"
"Of course not," shrugs Lucifer, "this is the first time I've ever heard of such a thing. And it does what, you say? Distorts truth and makes intelligent beings feel bad, and do wrong?"
"Why don't I give you a visual" replies YHVH, who then projects a hologramic scene that hovers between the two. Therein, Lucifer witnesses the awesome advent of evil upon a newly created species called "man". Wherein Lucifer weeps for the first time, some sparkly tears dropping into the teacup (which by the way is the primal origin of the Holy Grail).
Lucy dries his eyes with the hem of his sleeve, and exclaims, "Oh, my father, what terrible betrayal. How could you wish such forces unleashed in any universe? But I can only trust your decisions, and offer to serve you in this outcome, as best I can." Lucifer then takes a deep breath and sets down his cup. "Okay, Dad. How can I help you in this terrible mission?"
So with great sorrow and pride, Jehovah requests that Lucifer play the role of Master of Evil. This time around, Lucy is indeed terribly shocked, and lowers his head in shame and grief for some moments; then looks up and into the eyes of His Father, to say: "I will do this, only because if I didn't, you'd be alone in carrying this out. I wish to relieve your burdens as much as possible. For I do love you much!"
Jehovah took him up into his strong arms. "You are the only one of my angels who has never lacked in any way, complete faith in my plans. For that, I make you The Devil Himself, that you may tempt man to go astray. And in so tempting, each is offered the chance to resist temptation, and become a hero in overthrowing your seductions. You will be villified, scapegoated, and ultimately despised by all but a few wise folks. Indeed, not until the end of this First Cycle of Creation, will the wrongs against you be righted, and will you be celebrated as My Most Beloved Yeshua."
Having agreed to be partners in this Great Mission, Lucifer calls together a meeting of all the angels, and presents his case: to usurp the Creator and run the show ourselves. He is very persuasive, thanks to a gilded tongue, and manages to convince a third of the angelic host. War breaks out. So Lucifer dutifully plays out his incredible roles through history, including one of his "time out" past lives, where he is willfully sacrificed on a cross, to reaffirm his total devotion to One who asked of him this awesome responsibility.
Moral of this tale: Evil is a necessary evil. And if you really love your enemy, then one must also find a way to love, and forgive, the Ultimate Enemy. For with every seduction, Satan prays in his heart that you won't be tempted.
P.S.: In future times, I will describe some of the Heavenly stories that have been revealed to yours truly. It is my conviction that God is gay, and created his first being to have a companion...whom Christians call Jesus. He was the First Born, who is titled "Angel of Light" in the Old Testament. When it came time to impregnate Mary, God did not do that himself, but handed over a vial of His Most Precious Sperm to Gabriel, who then delivered it unto Mary's unexpectant womb. Right before Gabriel departed to carry out this sacred mission, YHVH added: "And when you get back, spare me the details. Please!"
P.S.: I have also posted this article to various and sundry Christian newsgroups. Oh great joy!
Edited by: ezekielk at: 6/7/02 4:50:58 pm
Witness the GAY Miracle
| Jay Phule|
(5/23/02 7:36:34 pm)
| Re: Origin Of Evil|
Fantastic fantastic FANTASTIC!
I lover this tale Zeke! I will gladly confess that Satan is easily one of my favorite characters in mythology and modern story. Especially when people such as yourself dare to view him as a complex being who is fulfilling an important role to himself and the beings surrounding him. I hate the 2D stereotypes of an angry goatman looking to get people to hurt each other for the sake of the hurt itself. It's too simple for any godhead to spend an eternity doing.
Satan to me has always been a romantic character very open to interpretation. The Bible is very lax on any details surrounding Satan/Lucifer. If he is to be a Christians greatest enemy why is he hidden in the shadows? Why isn't his story shared in the Bible so that Christians can better understand the darker side of reality? Who knows. Perhaps God and Satan were lovers, and in a jealous fit God kicked him to the curb due to an indiscretion. Those Pagan Goddesses can be hot! Maybe they were brothers, friends, business partners, co-creators, strangers or maybe two aspects of the same person.
Regardless, God and Satan are practically the only two gods of their own little religion. They certainly get together for poker and beer at least twice a month, and I'm sure they lament to each other over the pains and frustrations of their daily jobs. The Pagan gods have an advantage where the work is dispersed to many deities. Old Jehovah and his buddy have to work overtime for their respective flocks.
Tell me Zeke, where does the name Yeshua come from?
Anyway, thanks for sharing the story. I'm sure at least some of those Christians you shared it with will enjoy it.
(5/26/02 3:09:59 pm)
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| Re: Origin Of Evil|
Jay Phule spoke forth:
<< Fantastic fantastic FANTASTIC! >>
I gracefully take my bow ...making sure to keep my long, pointy red tail from sweeping the sawdust up from the stage floor.
<< Satan to me has always been a romantic character >>
That's what makes the sex so good! (Uh-oh, I'm in trouble now!)
<< Why isn't his story shared in the Bible so that Christians can better understand the darker side of reality? >>
Because we need to learn to think for ourselves. So this is what YHVH did: allow the creation of a bible (or bibles) that was 50% truth and 50% lies. He really wants us to reach our own conclusions, in finding our way home. What kind of companions would puppets be? (Boring, for one.)
The real answer for me, is to put a basic class on world religions, and another on anthropology, into our public education system. Make these courses mandatory, no later than the fourth grade. At that level, keep things simple with lots of clear illustrations. Then revisit the topics in high school, with more sophistication.
What you see me doing, when I reinterpret Judeo-Christian myth, is putting a pagan spin on the whole matter. So I am, in essence, "paganizing" Christianity...which I believe is its only way to salvation.
I believe you'd enjoy very much two of my other Luciferian tales: "The Little Angel Who Wouldn't Fly", and "Jesus On the Okra Winfree Show". There are many more of this genre, on my site.
<< The Pagan gods have an advantage where the work is dispersed to many deities. Old Jehovah and his buddy have to work overtime for their respective flocks. >>
No, that's not true at all. Obviously, what Jews/Christians call "angels" are these many other deities. Their religious leaders of that day were like the bully monopoly Microsoft in our day. By changing pagan title "god" into Christian title "angel", they begin to force THEIR mindset upon you, at the cost of all other mindsets, and any possibility of ever sampling a different mindset. You say toe-mah-toe, I say toe-may-toe.
Q: How do devils have safe sex?
A: With their tails.
Q: How do angels have safe sex?
A: With each other.
Q. Why do angels have safe sex in the first place?
A. So they can enjoy a cigarette in the second place.
("Yeshua" BTW, is the Hebrew name for "Jesus".)
Edited by: ezekielk at: 5/27/02 1:47:36 am
| Jay Phule|
(6/6/02 11:29:40 pm)
| Re: Origin Of Evil|
"So this is what YHVH did: allow the creation of a bible (or bibles) that was 50% truth and 50% lies. He really wants us to reach our own conclusions"
I that viewpoint a lot. I think the Bible may have once been the intact vision of a god's prophet, but it was obviously changed for political reasons to suit the various needs of nasty men and women in power. Mostly to control the little people with fear. What you are saying is a good way for people to deal with the messy rearranged leftovers of what is still called "The Bible." It's an attitude my mom adopts as well.
"The real answer for me, is to put a basic class on world religions, and another on anthropology, into our public education system."
A very good idea. Unfortunately one or two of the most popular religions right now has the very influential rule that says that all other religions are incorrect. I'm sure there would be mass amounts of protest if a school tried to teach anything from Buddhism to Paganism. In the melting pot that is the United States we really could use some increased awareness on the many religious options out there, but it'll be a long time before a public school offers any insight into this. I think it would be a great thing to offer outside a school. A tolerance class that parents could take their kids to afterhours or on the weekend. You should pioneer that Zeke!
"Q. Why do angels have safe sex in the first place?
A. So they can enjoy a cigarette in the second place."
A few years ago a boyfriend and I decided to quit smoking except after meals and after sex. As you can imagine this led to alot of frenzied cooking and uh.. we'll let's just say it was the most fun time I ever tried to quit.
(6/7/02 5:14:31 pm)
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| Re: Origin Of Evil|
Jay Phule spoke:
<< Unfortunately one or two of the most popular religions right now has the very influential rule that says that all other religions are incorrect. >>
Resulting very soon, in global religious wars...and a universal jihad against any and all homosexuals. Whoopty-doo! During this chaos, shall emerge my army of LGBTs to usurp all governments, churches, and political institutions. Hail Athenia, brave new (psychic) queer nation! "Gaydar" finally pays off!
<< A tolerance class that parents could take their kids to afterhours or on the weekend. You should pioneer that Zeke! >>
I'm already pioneering The Queer & Global Revolution. Do you really think I have some free time left for OTHER stuff, no matter how noble? I am blessed with brilliant ideas...gifts straight from Gaia's abundant heart. And this idea is my gift to our pagan brothers and sisters. So, it is YOUR honor that I present this idea FIRST, here on your message board.
It is ALSO your honor, to be the first to spread my idea, that pagans of power may actually enter the political fray to promote anthropology/worldview classes for public education. Unless, of course, you don't care to go down in history as being THE FIRST. Someone else is sure to pick this up. After all, you ALREADY have the sacred honor of YHVH's choosing your forums to put out "the word" (through my hands tapping across this colorful kid's keyboard).
<< A few years ago a boyfriend and I decided to quit smoking except after meals and after sex. As you can imagine this led to alot of frenzied cooking and uh.. we'll let's just say it was the most fun time I ever tried to quit. >>
Lucky you. I gave up smoking as a result of the obituary of my lover, Randolph, showing up in a local gay newspaper. I didn't want to give in to nihilism , so as a statement of belief in joy, I decided to give up "coffin nails" during this trying cycle.
And I never went back.
But I sure wish my experience of dropping the tobacco habit were on such a joyful level as yours! Yes, it's tough being gay, still ( and the lover of a Nam Vet). But the pride of my sacrifices shall soon rise up in full greatness and magnanimity.
Step back, or my wings will knock you over!
For my little hoofed feet: a carpet of clover.