Beloved Ian


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Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and 
credit to the original author.

Ezekiel J. Krahlin
http://www.gay-bible.org
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MY BELOVED IAN
(A True Tale From The Castro. Eat your heart out, Armistead!)

© 2001 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin


September 26, 2001

My Beloved Ian:

I never believed I'd say this to anyone, not ever, not for my
entire life. But it has come to this, anyway, and to my utter
surprise:

I love you even more than I do Randolph, who has been since I
met him in 1984, the One True Love of My Life, My Soulmate.
Yet there is just something so wonderful, so handsome, so
noble, about you Ian, that you have touched my heart where
only Randolph has done before...and touched it in such a way
as to topple my Randolph from the throne. I never dreamed such
a twist in fate to occur, for my dedication to Randolph is
complete and unswerving.

And I assure you, my best buddy of all: Assuming you
eventually accept my overtures of devotion, you need never
worry about my going back to Randolph. You will always be
first in my heart, and in my loyalty, as of this day. And I
know that Randolph will understand completely, and be joyful
for my spirit. There will be no bitterness, anger, arguments
or grief: for joy is the path I walk, and joy is the path of
our togetherness. Randolph is a dear friend to us both, and
worthy of our devotion and confidence: for he is every bit the
brave soldier you are, Beloved Ian!

I celebrate your birth, and praise the angels so many times
each day, Excellent Buddy, for bringing me to Ian (even if he
tells me he doesn't mean everything he says or does, that he's
simply a good actor). Well, your "act" was so convincing, I
cannot believe that it ever was an act, at all! Now, you must
live with the consequences of playing with my heart.

If it's really a woman you desire for a partner, well then
that's what I want for you, too. But I seriously doubt you'd
even care to have anyone but yours truly, at this point in our
friendship. I will not betray you, Ian/Diomedes, for I am
honored to be here for you, and to let go of sweet Randolph
for your sake. My heart is aflame with God's infinite
compassion for my Wonderful Ian Soldier.

It has been a grievous and hurtful process, suffering your
sudden rejection of me, leaving me no room at all to
communicate with you in a usual manner. So what choice did I
have but scatter messages in public areas for you to hopefully
read? Hey, good buddy, I didn't want our problems to become
any more public than you did...but you cut me off so bluntly,
and coldly, that I shivered at the betrayal. I had no problem
with you playing "straight" in the public arena; but you blew
your cover by forcing my hand to play things out in public. I
rather liked our secret times together; and it was NO ONE
ELSE'S business.

I cannot believe you meant any of this, yet days continue
going by, and you show no desire to ever be with me again. Yet
I do not believe this is your intention at all, for I know you
are a brilliant man, who is beyond such immature games. I can
only conclude that you are putting me through MY paces, until
such time I have fulfilled some further lessons of the soul.
I know I will pass all tests with flying colors, and when it's
all through, I'LL STILL BE HERE, JUST FOR YOU!

So I leave you with this interesting question, Diomed:

If Jesus Himself were gay, and he fell so madly in love with
you, that his only wish was to have you for his One True
Love...would you really reject him, too, Ian?

All my love,



Zeke of the Broken Heart
Proud to bear Ian's crosses with him

P.S.: I thought you'd enjoy fresh copies of my 2 poems to you,
in case I can't return home right away.

P.P.S.: I cherish everything about you, Ian Soldier! 


---finis