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Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and
credit to the original author.
Ezekiel J. Krahlin
http://surf.to/gaybible
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LUV LETTERS FROM JESUS TO HIS DADDY (abridged)
© 2000 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)
This story is dedicated to the best buddies a guy or gal could
ever have: Viet Nam Veterans.
NOTE: My real name prior to 1996, was Eugene (or "Gene")
Catalano; and all letters in this book are dated before that
year. The complete collection of letters shall eventually be
returned to me by my lover Randolph, to form the final,
unabridged version.
==============================================================
October 10, 1986
To The Pimple On My Butt:
I am ashamed of you! I thought you were a fighter for
veterans' rights, but since you've had a little setback you
now want to "lay low" while thousands of Nam Vets still suffer
great torment!
You are so concerned about your own skin being saved that you
have put your ideals on the shelf! Your beliefs should come
first, and your own well-being second! You should be using
all the free time you have towards continuing your struggles
(now forgotten) for the Nam Vets, instead of moping around,
whining and sipping coffee!
You have allowed The System to turn you into a wimpy,
spineless faggot who happily eats all the shit dished out to
him! I cannot bear to think how you have turned out after all
the challenges God has put in your path! I am disgraced to
even think I had feelings of compassion for you! You are
truly the greatest, most pathetic tragedy I have ever
witnessed! You're just an attractive package wrapped around a
rotten fish! Huh! Some hero you turn out to be! You just
want self-glory, not selfless devotion to great and righteous
beliefs (which I now question you ever had in the first
place)!
I am ashamed and humiliated that anyone even knows I was
associated with you -- let alone put out so much incredible
effort towards your survival (which I now question the worth
of, like fruit grown rotten on the vine).
Truth always reveals itself to those who are patient (as I
am), and it has revealed you to be one big, fat phony!
I'll bet that you made Jose's life a living Hell, the poor
fellow! I seek vengeance in his name, too, as well as for all
the other guys you fucked up the ass just to get some of your
"goodies." An inflatable rubber doll or a jack-pack expresses
more compassion than you do!
Angry Little Pony
P.S.: You don't know how to run your OWN life, so I'm gonna
run it for you!
==============================================================
January 9, 1987
"MR. T" SHIRT
We hope you enjoy wearing your "Mr. T" shirt. Each shirt is
individually created and crafted by one of our members of the
Leprechaun's Seamsters Union Local #404. Immediately after
the final stitch is sewn, a secret spell is cast upon the
shirt, thereby blessing the wearer with the "Luck of The
Irish" in the official, traditional manner laid down in Vol.
2, Ch. 3, Sec. 109, Para. 24 of The Elfyn Apochryphon Booke of
Magicke (revised every other 300 years by the First Order
Scholastic Fairy Ring).
There is no implicit guarantee in the satisfaction to the
wearer, especially in the vicinity of a rainbow's end. The
Magicke Spell is, however, guaranteed to ward off warts, horny
toads, banshees, and slimy things that go bump in the night,
as well as cause great mischief and mayhem to anyone other
than the intended recipient of the shirt.
WARNING: The power of the "Mr. T" Shirt is totally awesome,
and there is no implicit warrantee to protect, refund, or
resurrect the wearer in the event that said wearer puts the
shirt on backwards, inside-out, or worn or used in any other
manner than is usual and customary. In other words, wear your
"Mr. T" Shirt with the "Mr. T" logo on your hot, manly chest,
the label on the nape of your muscular neck, your strong (but
tender) right arm in the sleeve with the abstract designs on
it, and your left arm (like a sculptured statue from the High
Greek Classical Era) in the plain, white sleeve. Then, having
accomplished this, tuck your "Mr. T" Shirt tightly around that
slim, supple waist till it is firmly lodged between your faded
jeans and sexy butt, then slide your hot fingers around to
wrap them about your thick and throbbing joystick in order to
maneuver it under the shirt. DO NOT CUM ON YOUR "MR. T"
SHIRT...there is no defense against astral voyeurism in such
an event.
Uncanny and startling occurrences take place shortly after
putting on your "Mr. T" Shirt. When you are not
psychologically receptive to Leprechaun caprices, stow it
securely away where it is least likely to be discovered by
anyone but yourself (the deserving and most beloved
recipient).
CARE & FEEDING OF THE "MR. T" SHIRT: Hand wash in cold water,
mild soap only. Colors may run a bit upon first washing--or
they may run down the drain, we just don't know...there is no
predicting a leprechaun's handiwork, except to say that our
Permanent Magicke Markers have been reliable enough to keep
the bright colors in our rainbows.
If you have any questions or comments to make regarding the
"Mr. T" Shirt, or any of our other fine products, please write
to us at:
Little Pony Textiles, Inc.
1988 Market St., #20
San Francisco, CA 94113
Or call us collect at: 415/310-8423.
==============================================================
January 10, 1987
RANDOLPH
ANGEL OF MY DREAMS:
Remarkable food for a most remarkable man! (In celebration of
your excellent health, in mind and spirit, as well as in
body.)
When two people reach out to each other, in genuine love and
concern, a golden cord links their hearts, no matter where, or
how far apart, they are. This cord, once linked, will always
remain so--no evil, in any form (whether earthly or unearthly)
can ever dissolve or sever this cord. It is a gift, an
eternal gift, from God: one of His greatest of gifts!
Now, we have this lovely golden cord stretching all the way
across an entire continent! With our two (fluttering) hearts
as One, we can more readily reach out to others in great need
of hope, compassion, and a kind hand...because our Joy is a
golden cord that will link with other dear hearts. And these
good folks who are touched by the cord will likewise do the
same, so that (quite rapidly) this golden cord will grow into
a miraculous, shimmering spider web of God's magic over the
entire nation...the continent...the world!
Randy, we have nothing less here than a miracle; accept it! It
does happen, and my heart tells me that God has selected us
among The Brotherhood to join in this gracious and noble task.
Do not think for a moment I am merely going off the deep end
in hopeless euphoria over your kind letters (because I am so
needful). No, it is not a matter for clinical analysis. What
we have accomplished for each other has been closely watched
by God and His Angels, and they will see to it that this love
we have found will benefit the world. It may all be done in
secret--no news media in any form may recognize the process
unfolding--but we shall glimpse at least some of the wondrous
results!
I do not acquire this "knowing" through books or any other
outer source; it is in my heart and my imagination (the
fountainhead of God). I truly feel that an Angel is talking
to me, and now speaking to you through my words. He tells us:
"Believe! Believe, Randy and Gene, that miracles and magic do
happen! Love is God is Magic is Miraculous! Strive on, brave
soldiers in Love! Your friendship shall benefit the entire
world! You have no idea how your angelic brothers and sisters
are rejoicing at this time!"
Randy, when I first set eyes on you (in the Donut Shop, of
course), I was instantly captivated! You won my heart right
then and there! Little did I know what a fine and heroic man
you truly are! But I am sure that our Guardian Angels saw
something most beautiful in each of us, and began the wheels
turning so that we may not ever lose each other. It is like
the reunion of the dearest of friends who have been lost from
each other for unspeakable eons! And I know you also noticed
me the moment I walked in! I remember the look in your eyes!
(Of course, you quickly returned to your letter, for at that
time you had other concerns more important than me, at that
time a stranger; and you were also greatly withdrawn because
of the terrible anguish in your gentle heart.)
I remember at the Veterans' Hospital in S.F., you grinned
sheepishly at me and said, "So you think you see angels?" And
this, coming from a man who was quoted during his epic fast:
"I know I won't die from this because my Guardian Angel told
me so."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randy, thou hidest many secrets in your mind from me! That is
well and good, for your trust in another is not lightly given,
considering all the deceits and disappointments you have
known. I do know now, that you have been thinking of me for
many moons, otherwise you would not have reached out to
me...for this, I am most grateful and happy! I also know that
your heart speaks to me often, wherever I am, and I keenly
feel your presence...and I know you feel my thoughts in your
heart, too. We are already together in every way, except
geographical (I blush to say "physical"!), and I know that
won't be very long from now. Suffice it to say that God moves
in strange, miraculous ways, and the Angels love surprises
(the little, gossipy darlings)! And they have set aside the
time when we shall be together in every way (I embarrass
myself). All that is expected of us is to do our good works
in joy, and the peace that comes with it. Our crucifixion is
over, we now abide in God's home: the Heart of hearts.
Know that none of your tremendous sacrifices are in vain! The
time and the season of your answered prayers just came later
than you expected! And please, do thank the Angels for
inspiring me to write this letter...it is they who give me
these words that flow so effortlessly from my fingers to the
printed page.
God bless you, most beautiful, handsome, courageous,
long-suffering, incredibly handsome and sexy Man among men!
All the love one little pony
can muster up,
Genie
==============================================================
January 17, 1987
Dearest Randy,
So many of your talents are intangible to the ordinary eye!
These are the greatest talents: devotion to ideals, a
beautiful imagination, high aspirations, and fervent wishes
for world peace. And you have them all, my best friend and
Guardian Angel! Anything you create in material form will be a
beautiful symbol of your True Talents. You also have the
talent to create a lovely home for many needful souls,
establish and direct a humanitarian organization, or a similar
calling; all of which are the active expressions of your
Talents.
I think that what you are doing for me is absolutely
marvelous, no matter what level you are reaching out from!
(It certainly comes from love, in one form or another.) How
you affect me is with great inspiration and renewal of the
Great Dream. Your expressions of kindness to me frees my
creative channel--and this is your gift to me...how could I
not feel most exhilarated and forever grateful!
I cannot separate the inspiration you give me from the
inspiration I give others. To lose my link with you is also
to lose my link with the world...my creativity and aspirations
vanish. Several years before meeting you, I was already in
the process of collapsing: my creative energies were feeble,
as were my hopes for anything decent in my life. This, I
believe, came from so many years doing everything for myself
alone, so that, finally, I could no longer push my creative
flow. My inspiration comes from love, whether the source is
inward or outward. It's just that I had finally used up all
my inner "fuel," and no one had ever come into my life to
renew my source of inspiration. After all, one can read
books, watch movies, listen to the radio, about love,
kindness, and friendship...for an entire lifetime! But how
can a person eventually succeed (in spirit) if it never
manifests for him in the real world? So, my system was
shutting down...and I could do nothing about it, except to
struggle the best I knew how. However, I think that, without
someone to love and care for (and vice versa), people can and
do collapse and die in spirit while still in their bodies!
Try telling this stuff to a psychiatrist who is: (1) atheist,
(2) a believer in the philosophy that "Whatever happens to you
is your own fault, and complaining will just make it worse."
They have all the answers (they think)! What an easy way to
excuse one's responsibility to a fellow being in distress!
("Well, it's his own fault or it wouldn't happen, so it would
not only be wrong for me to get involved, but it would also be
very bad karma!") One day, my shrink quoted Freud as to what
meaning there is in life, if one does not believe in God. The
answer: "Love and Work." So I asked my psychiatrist "What if
you can't find Love? Then you just have to focus on Work,
right? But since most people can never find a career that
allows them to express their full potential (or even close to
it), where does that leave them?" He never bothered to
respond.
But I made my own conclusion: If love and work are the only
meanings, then that leaves most people off in a bad way! On a
deeper level, "work" is really acting upon your spiritual
calling (once you discover it), and "love" is the persistence
of one's belief in The Good no matter what trials lay ahead.
Not to say that there aren't a lot of people who wallow in
their distress in order to get attention! So for that reason,
I have learned to be responsive to only those people I know I
can help, and who are basically True Givers, when not down and
out themselves (or have the potential to become Givers). If I
dwell too long on the incredible numbers of people suffering
the world over, I freak out, drain all my creative resources,
and am no good for anybody, let alone myself! Yes, it hurts
to know that so many people suffer, and will continue
suffering for a long, long time to come (unless a miracle
happens, and certainly believe it will!).
But I do believe that whenever is Love expressed to a single
person, the entire world is greatly enriched in spirit!
Another victory in this War of Armageddon!
But back to my inspired talents: When you honor me with the
incredible freedom to express my love to you, I am also freed
to reach out to others, as well as begin again to write poetry
and stories! When we go through a bumpy cycle, I collapse!
So, when you tell me to share myself with others, please
realize that that is not only greatly enhanced whenever we
share, it is impossible for me when we don't! (Everything
loses its color, I have no appetite, and the world becomes a
very unfriendly and lonely place! This is one of the most
difficult battles of Armageddon! I can't beat those demons
myself! I need a faithful comrade fighting by my side! I am
in the front line, Condition Red: "We need more troops! We
need loyal comrades, armored with the purest weapons of Love,
Patience, Long-Suffering, Kindness, and sexy bodies! Please,
hear my call, we cannot win without a full, striking force!
(....STATIC, communications terminated!)." (Do you hear me,
Randy? Are your antennae receiving?)
There is only one more hill to surmount, and that is where the
greatest number of Demons have gathered. I cannot defeat them
and reach Elysium without at least one devoted comrade by my
side! This is a distress call of the highest priority!
Anyone out there, please hear me! Everybody thinks I'm just
this crazy guy who goes on weird trips because I took acid
once in my life! Help! This is the hour of Armageddon, and I
have begun fighting it a long, long time ago, by myself! I'm
doing this for all of you, because I love you, ladies and
gentlemen and all the children and children-to-be-born! I
have the vision! I know what's really going on this very
moment, beyond this thin veil of "reality"! You wouldn't
believe how absolutely mad it is out there! The Enemy
Battalions are in full colors, and, were they not evil, would
truly be a thing of glory to see! Their beauty seduces me,
and I call for reinforcements! Save me from their
temptations! Please, please, someone answer my call! Their
first line of attack is straight down the hill! My, my!
There's so many of them, and just little ol' me! (At least I
still have my sense of humor--my last line of defense. Please
send me reinforcements of humor before mine are destroyed! No
men who are half-hearted, either! Send me your best: the
sweetest, most devoted, most sexy, most passionate, warriors!)
Do you think I'm joking, Randolph? I take humor very
seriously. It is the most powerful weapon we have, and our
greatest hope to win this war! I seem to talk to you
half-real and half-figure, yet these are the only words I can
find to share with you my visions of the other world as they
unfold before my very wide-open and fearful eyes! My words
tend to be lyrical, because this other world is so incredibly
lovely and delightful! But Hell can be deceiving enough to
seem to be Heaven, so I am definitely most cautious, and
always keep a firm hand on the handle of the Gate (I swing
back and forth, twixt this world and The Other! Hop on, it's
fun!). This is a real dimension whose gate I have stumbled
through, and I now stand with one foot here, and one foot
there! I am a "keeper," so to speak, maybe for a little
while, or maybe for a long time! I am most blessed and gifted
to have this Second Sight. I can view reality on two levels
at the same time.
Everything that we do on this world is simultaneously acted
out in the spirit world...with a tremendously greater
intensity! While two people exchange bitter words here, above
there is another battle conquered by the Evil Ones! Yet look
over there: two people exchanging loving words...a victory
for the Good Ones!
Sure, many people have mused upon the parallel relationships
between Heaven, Earth, and Hell. This is nothing new to write
home about! I'm certainly not original...I'm more like the
secretary for the Angels, who dictate exactly what I am to
communicate to you (you're TOP PRIORITY, hot stuff!), and
other people with the "open faces" (meaning, they have that
"enlightened" look about them). Randy, my love is the angel's
song through the tunnel of time! Don't ask me why I have been
chosen (let alone why I think I have been chosen), or if I am
the only one, the first, or one among many (144,000?) and
certainly not the first! (I see that the Angels are presently
ironing your battle fatigues so that you will look as snappy
and bright as possible before our Enemies! You are the
Seducer of Seducers!)
I feel like the Gods act through us, and after having been
lost for so, so long in a most gruesome war, are waking up in
our souls to rediscover each other and make love through us!
My soul generates the aura of Apollo, and yours the aura of
Eros! We are still, of course, Randy and Gene, but we have
each married our Soul Mates, formerly our Guardian Angels.
How long, Randy-Eros, are you going to delay the honeymoon!
Until I'm so frustrated, that I'll finally blow up into a
million pieces of super novas? Didn't you already try that?
And you saw the mess you made? The mortals call it
"creation"--isn't that cute? I don't really care about Gene
anymore, I think I'll talk to you directly through
Randy...this way, we can more efficaciously bring Zeus's
abundant gifts onto this too- long-suffering plane of Human
Glory and Tragedy. It sure is swell to be with you again,
Eros! I am the only one you never thought to seduce, yet I am
the most seduced! While you weren't looking, I swiped your
arrows. Hope you're not angry with me! I hid the arrows in a
private dimension no one has access to except me. If you'd
like an arrow, you'll have to come with me to my private
dimension, and an arrow will appear in your hand for each time
we make love. Yes, I know you have an infinite supply--I just
want to find out for myself, big boy! Let's just see who
really does have the right stuff!
Absolutely incredible, if you even consider that such a thing
would be possible for even a moment! Randy, I can talk to you
only as Gene...or Most Lovely Eros, I can talk to you only as
Helios...or Randy/Eros, we can talk to you as a mixture of
Gene and Apollo, sometimes more one than the other! But now
Gene and I are working very well together, so he can even step
aside when need be, to allow me, the Fire of Zeus, to act and
talk directly...but still concealed to all but a rare eye!
Gene has had a most difficult and long fight (on many a
psychiatrist's couch!) to balance things out with us, his
archetypes. But we are in excellent harmony, now that Gene
realizes that we wanted him to stay Captain of the Ship all
the time! Those damn demons fucked with Gene's head, by
appearing as ourselves (Zeus's children) and luring him away
from the true Path! He even sometimes wonders if you,
Randy/Eros, could (perhaps) be one of them in Heavenly
disguise! But we have a secret that I'll now tell you: no
thing in this universe can resist the seduction of Apollo, who
has already liberated many demons to Olympia! No thing at
all, except one: Eros, Seducer of seducers! So I, the Fire
of Zeus's sperm, can only bide his lonely time till he
receives the Gracious Light of Love Eternal which is, of
course, the Aura of Eros! I have most humbly rebore myself on
earth through each human generation, to demonstrate my love
for you, Eros Most Beautiful! Have I not been sacrificed many
times in the name of Our Father, to prove my constant faith in
all that is Good and True, O Bearer of Love's Cup? Have I not
followed you through every dark path you walked, and always
found my way back to Olympia, because of my faith in you? O
Seducer of seducers, isn't there anyone who can seduce you?
If I knew of someone else, I would bring him hither to your
feet and offer him unto you, Most Handsome--for I love you
that much!
Randy, I, Apollo, address you: Gene had begun to collapse and
cut off communications from you, because of your accusation
that his gifts are "wasted" on you! So I took over the
controls in order to maintain this most crucial contact! Gene
will be all right, always, because he now trusts my
hands...and he is certainly most well-loved by me, who would
never marry any one less than a True Hero! And Gene has the
same tastes I do! During these times, he sits in the back
seat, and watches me drive, while our Medics do repair work on
his soul.
You still have a little more battling to do: those demons pop
out through your mouth once in a while. Eros, your
persistence in resistance is attracting devils into your force
field, and affecting Randy...I'm only telling you this for
your own good! If there were some other way to get them out,
I'd tell you, but the Army Seduction Field Handbook says that,
in this circumstance, "The Demons you'll fling, when to Apollo
your heart will sing!" Look, this is no more in my control
any more than it is in yours. Yes, I know it came from energy
that I created, but why did I create it? From a deeper energy
that is Our Father's own finger! You think I can change his
plans? Yeah, I know I did, once, but that was before I grew
hair on my body.
I must also tell you this, Randy: Gene would not reveal to
you what I am, for I am so deep in his heart, that he could
never trust anyone to share me! But I, Helios, have taken
command in this situation, so that no thing may be hidden, and
all may shine under the Golden Light of God's Witness. There
will be no judgment, as we find that you, as well as Gene, are
pure in soul. Even the Gods in this situation can do nothing
more than plead for mercy! It has so moved us, that we now
speak through his lips the words that shall bring to you the
full realization of Gene's love! And we judge you most worthy
of Love! Thou art the highest of Angels, and the sweetest!
Randy, this is Gene, I'm back! (Am I me, or am I Memorex?
What a most difficult decision you are up against!) Randy, I
know I have the talent to be published, but my Guardian Angel
always blocks that path! I realize now, since I am in such
good communications with those little devils, that my talents
are meant only for a few, very close friends! And whenever I
delight you, I now know, I delight the legions of Angels in
Heaven...and even in Hell! Who could ever be more famous
than that? I positively reek with God's blessings, I wonder
why I never got vain? (That was Apollo, twisting my words!
Good Heavens, it really is!)
You are made of the same stuff as I, my Angel, you possess the
fire, the wind, the water, the sky, and all that is glorious
in God's Heart of Infinite Compassion! (Ah, how lovely to
meditate upon my handsome stallion!) Randy, I've stumbled
upon a most wonderful vision of the universe, and I want with
every beat of my lonely heart, to share this Greatest of
Gifts, and then, and only then, can it be divided and shared
among all! There is no one else who can carry the torch with
me! Believe me! I've looked, I've looked! Not that there
aren't others as worthy as, or worthier than, this Great
Task...it's just that that's the way God planned it! We are
so incredibly honored to be welcomed into the Circle of
Angels: THE BROTHER/SISTERHOOD OF ANGELS! Let us embrace in
great joy, and be proud of our good works! Let us get this
show on the road!
(I guess he'll keep seeing Gene as a crazy, burdensome
nuisance until that Magic Arrow gets lodged a little further
in his heart. I know it'll hurt him--why do you think I put
things off for so long? This is my last arrow, man...Apollo's
exhausted me for a week!)
Randy, it's hard to talk to you as Gene sometimes, because the
Archetypes are having an absolute ball! They are celebrating
a most wonderful victory in the name of love, which is so very
soon from now! And the celebration is for us! Did you ever
think that, since Angels are telepathic, that they begin
celebrating a victory centuries before it happens? Of course,
their secret weapon is to only tune in on the victories,
especially in the midst of battles. That's what I think
they're doing now, by shifting me into the "safety zone," so
that I won't get in the cross fire! It's absolutely
enchanting to see the final conquest of Armageddon, and the
first ray of Morning Sun beaming over the horizon!
Randy, I am so fucking in love with you, I am out of my skin!
You are such a fucking, god-damned, lovely and most handsome
and kind man I have ever met! I'd be an absolute fool not to
reach out to you! For you are also such a sweet and needful
man! What I mean is: take your time! I'm ready for you
whenever you're ready for me! And in the meantime, I'll build
on this spiritual foundation I've created, so that I'll be
even "readier" when you arrive!
Sorry I spared you little sanity in this letter, but Apollo is
my faithful lover, and I know now that Father knows best and I
absolutely trust what He tells me to do! Believe me, I can
discern between the Good Lord's Voice and the Dark Lord's
wail! In other words, absolutely nothing is going to stop me
from mailing this letter even though I, Gene, am so afraid it
will turn you off for good! I have that much faith--faith to
believe that God speaks to me, and, when he does, I carry out
his words! My words of love are His commands! I either am
His loyal servant, or nothing at all! Surely you, a man of
many, many decorations, understands the Golden Cord of
Loyalty! (But it is also faithless to have fear, so begone my
fears!)
Randy, I am so happy that you found such an excellent clinic!
The people there must be awfully, awfully nice. I bet you
you're surrounded by a platoon of The Brother/Sisterhood of
Angels, and you don't even realize it! (They're just
"ordinary" nurses, aides, and doctors, right? Try to pull
that on me, and I'll hang up!) And how wonderful to see the
Amish in Winter...only I certainly did not want your foot to
be broken in order to accomplish that!
I already have five, lovely cards from you, filling my room
with light! Each card is so special, I really can't have
favorites. (Actually, my favorite card is always your most
recent one!) Some days I put one of your cards in my coat
pocket, so it's close to my heart all day long! I don't even
throw away the envelopes! They're right here on my desk,
waiting to have something creative done with them! (Pheobus:
"I think maybe--no, I definitely will--use these envelopes as
mortar for the Foundations of Heaven. Such very fine
material!")
Depending on which level you're on, I either got you very
upset (in which case you'll worry for my sanity and come
rushing to my aid!), or you are now absolutely joyful (in
which case you'll worry for my loneliness and come rushing to
my aid!)...or a mixture of both (in which case a dragon will
descend into your ward and sweep you off your feet to bring
you home to me!)
God is with you! Really!
What more can I say, big buddy?
Semper Fidelis!
==============================================================
Gene Catalano, Sec'y
Brother/Sisterhood of Angels
January 22, 1987
Hon. Randolph L. Taylor, Pres.
Brother/Sisterhood of Veterans
TO: The President
FROM: His Faithful Servants of the B./S. A.
We salute you across the continent, Randy, as we each build
the Foundations of Heaven--you, on the East Coast ("The
Family") and us, on the West (B./S. A.)....and our two
cornerstones shall meet 300 kilometers above Columbia, Mo., to
form one side of New Jerusalem. One problem, though:
We have received no further instructions from you, Mr.
President, as to the building of the second, third, and fourth
walls! Now that we have gained many more recruits in such a
short time, we are building faster than even the most
optimistic forecast! WE ARE WAITING FOR MORE ORDERS!!! (Too
many of us are sitting on our fat wings, bored and frustrated
because we have been called here in the dead of night, only to
find that there were no orders!)
We know the orders will come in eventually (fast and thick,
You Devil), so rather than go back to our boys (we're
exhausted, anyway), we'll sit things out and meanwhile play
checkers, backgammon, smoke dope, play "Spin The Pitchfork,"
fuck the daylights out of each other, and other harmless
pastimes like that.
Expect our Central Headquarters to relocate in Berkeley
sometime in February, March, or April...much better "recruit
material" over there! The Secretary (Hi, sweetheart!) has
stumbled upon a most gracious building filled with most
gracious residents and manager! (Besides, there're more trees
over there, and it costs $10 less than we're paying now--to
have drunk "lover" managers harassing us for being a
"low-life, low-rent-payer," hollering at us, looking at us
weird when we walk by, etc. etc. In a way, we'd love to stick
things through until they leave, just to keep the room
low-rent, but our calling is far more important! This way,
when you're ready to come home, we'll get you a fine,
affordable room ($180-200/mo.) in the same building...if you
so wish, of course! We can certainly move the entire outfit
East, near you...it doesn't matter where on Earth we do it, as
long as we're on earth! (Don't worry, we took care of those
two guys by putting terror into their hearts...they don't even
go near us now. How uncomfortable for them!)
Oh, yes, back for the main point of this message: AWAITING
ORDERS, PRESIDENT! (Clue: It has something to do with
Genie!)
SEMPER FIDELIS
==============================================================
January 23, 1987
SWEETEST RANDOLPH:
I've tried to tell you in many ways what I've been telling
you. But this time I'll just be blunt!
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ. I AM Jesus Christ.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy. And you are my Daddy.
Love,
Genie
==============================================================
January 25, 1987
HELLO AGAIN,
ANGEL RANDOLPH!
What you really sent me when you mailed that photograph, was
your big, bright, beautiful smile! And when I saw that
gorgeous grin, like the brilliance of the rising sun, the Ice
Age ended for me (I'm a little old-fashioned--never bother to
cook my Mastodon in a microwave, or even Shake-n-Bake it, for
that matter)...and the Eternal Spring cast its first rays of
golden light on my heart! The little bud(die) that has stood
beside you for so long, now opens his first petals to the
radiance of your soul! Just watch me grow and change into
your Boy of Sweet Innocence! You are truly a Man to admire!
As the flowers turn their faces to the sun, I turn my heart to
you, and our arms embrace each other across this Great
Continent! (Can't wait to explore your Continental Divide!)
What great fun it is, to shoot our wads at each other across
three thousand miles! My cup runneth over with the nectar of
your masculine seed! Don't stop now, Babe, 'cause I'm ridin'
my Big Bronco in the sky! I weep tears of joy across your
broad shoulders, and the Great Rains fall upon the world!
Even Daddies need Daddies, so I service you with a lube job,
change of oil, and pump you full of High Octane Premium...like
the Hot Stud that I am! Cum to me for service, and you'll
always get a lot of freebies and "bonerses" ! My supply is
stocked for Eternity, and I'd rather give it away to a Loyal
Comrade, rather than let it build up or sell it for dirt!
Love me, Randy, as no one ever has loved me before! Love me
for the child that I am, so wondrously wrought by God's loving
hands according to the blueprints of your Dreams! Know that I
am still a Virgin (like Mom!)--a very embarrassing confession,
though Zeus will do anything for a good, thunderous laugh! Is
it my fault that I'm the butt of his jokes (though the butt of
His dreams, as well!)? Love me, Randy, for I see the world
through innocent eyes, and can never understand Man's
unkindness...even Satan is my good buddie, for I cannot
conceive of a God that does not love every single one of His
Creations! I believe we are all given the keys to The Gate,
some sooner, some later. And, since "The first shall be last,
and the last shall be first," it seems that Lucifer should be
the first to enter. I am Lucifer, your First Begat, your
Radiant Angel of Light, who was sacrificed as the Supreme Test
for the endurance of our Souls which you have so incredibly
wrought, O Blacksmith of Olympia!
The scent of the Flower of My Soul is for your olfactory
nerves only, and as I open to you, My Star, the Jet Stream of
angels shall waft my pollen over lovely Amish country...and
reach that adorable, sexy nose of yours! And when it hits,
will it hit! You think I'm acting silly and foolish, now?
This is gonna be lots of fun to see you grow into God Himself
(through my eyes only), and you yearn so much to be with me,
that you'll break loose from your cast (Lo and behold, thou
art healed this very moment!), and take the first jet you can
to San Francisco! And you will become a puppy in my hands,
for you already are this, in my heart (as I surely am to
you!)...and know that I have no less than your absolute trust,
for you now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you can
really trust me with all your heart!
And what a sterling heart you have, my silver-maned Stallion!
How lovely you look in that picture! Your hair is becoming a
crown of pure silver! What a Man! What a Father! Would
that, if you feel like delighting the heart of your Little
Pony, you send a lock of your hair, that I may carry it close
to my heart (in a locket) at all times, until I am finally in
your cool, strong arms! It would well ease my pain for lack
of Thou, and is a most romantic, old-fashioned custom of True
Love and Friendship! (Oh, but I shall sleep eternally, should
you spurn my Soul's call to His Mate!)
I sing for Thou, and only Thou, my Dearest Little Chipmunk, my
Light of Salvation, my Knight in Shining Armor, my Fountain
of Joy, my Father! Builder of Dreams, is there not a single
dream of mine that you won't fulfill? Architect of The
Universe that I am, I nevertheless beg of you not to
overestimate my skills, for I am still an apprentice! Thou
dost honor me greatly beyond any dream I ever had, I know full
well, but I beseech you to take a day off and get a rest, Good
Man! And besides, I have been left alone to guard your house
while you've been slaving away all day at the Factory! And a
lonely heart is not what you want for me...I've only been
trying to get that through your lovely, preoccupied head!
Now, Randy, you do understand my situation, I am very certain!
The Hour is Now, and the Time is Short, and I need to be in
your arms before the curtain falls on this First Act! There
is infinite strength, confidence, and joy from two Comrades in
love, fighting Armageddon at each other's side!
Your heel has been healed with a more durable steel, Achilles!
Hasten to my side on winged feet, Mercury! O, Belerephon, the
First Horse of the Apocalypse, let me mount you so we can lead
the Armies to the Battlefield! Rear your head with pride,
sexy steed, as we forge through the dark flanks of Satan's
cohorts, counting a victory for each head we anoint! (And all
shall be anointed!) Our Love is the Victory! Celebrate now,
for the weapons we bare are Arms of Joy, Arms of Devotion,
Arms of Humor, Arms of Flowers, Arms of Smiles, and Armfuls
and Armfuls of Boys...and they are all invincible! And best
of all, I get to lick the Good Humor Man's humongous popsicle,
as long as my little heart so desires! And He always keeps a
full supply in the freezer, so I can thaw them out with my
tongue, and roll the vanilla ice cream in my mouth before
gulping it down!
Dad, Thou art my Sundae Special! Drive up in a truck 'cause
it rhymes with fuck, drop your change belt and shove that
pink, hard treat where it tastes most sweet! Then let me,
Daddy, Daddy, let me do you any way I please! The only
popsicle for which I yearn is yours, Daddy...all the others
smell so bad, I don't even want to go near them! Let me tear
off your shirt, and rest my head on your manly chest as I
reach through your fly to find something big to suck on! And
let me slide those spotless white pants over your muscular
legs, which you raise in the air to help me out!
Please, Daddy, please let me do even more! Let me make your
Big Nest slippery with my saliva (your buoyant eggs shall ride
the waves of ecstasy!), let me taste the sweetness of your
crown (and the first dew that drops on my lips!), let me
pierce your tight sphincter with the dart of my slippery
tongue, and let me raise your legs so that I can pierce even
deeper, my hot breath smothering your fiery balls, your cock
so stiff it feels like it's going to burst from your skin!
What bursts instead is a fountain of ice cream...for we are in
Candyland!
And Daddy, don't stop cumming, ever! I am your only child,
your Boy, who shall always thirst for your manhood without
satiation! Squirt yourself all over me so your hands will
glide over my face, my shoulders, my chest, my back, my belly,
my waist, my hips, my ass! Do this for me, and my thighs will
quiver to be open to--yet always resist--the plunge of your
finger reaching for the button that ejaculates me into
whatever opening you put before me! I will always come every
moment we touch, so you'll have to spend several delightful
more minutes to sweeten me for the True Coupling! The moment
I start rubbing my nest into yours, I'll explode all over you,
and you'll have to tie me down in order to get me through the
gate. But then I'll really buck, and you'll have to grab onto
my horn to keep me down!
And please, Daddy, wrap your strong arms and legs around me to
keep me down, deep, deep inside you; for when I finally
emerge, you will jerk in spasms of cum as I yank it out and
plunge it in many times! I will do it slow, and do it fast; I
will do it smooth, and do it hard; but I will always do it
good, and do it so sweet, your tongue will hang from your
mouth, yearning to wrap it around my fat joystick, even though
you can't because St. Peter is busy shoving you through the
Pearly Gates. ("Entering Heaven is like passing through the
Eye of the Needle.")
Suddenly, you relax, dropping your heavily-muscled thighs onto
my back; and I can finally slide the last three inches into
you with ease. Safely locked in Heaven's Mansion, we moan our
Eternal Comradeship to each other, as my River of Love flows
smoothly through the gates, into the Land of Milk and Honey!
My Darling Father, I want to bring you so much joy, I ache
with need for you! The joy you already bring to me, though
three thousand miles away, is already far beyond what even I,
your very talented Son, could begin to describe! (My talents
spring from the Loins of Inspiration! Thou art that fountain
from which I drink!) Oh, I shiver to even think of your
loving caresses on my trembling flank! This Little Pony is so
incredibly blessed to rest his head on the legs of his Silver
Stallion Stud!
Randy, goodest and bestest friend for all time, I feel like I
am your doctor who delivers you. Only I am easing your
rebirth into your soul's next level...Heaven! God has given
me the incredible honor to be your "midhusband," to make your
New Birth painless as possible, and to stand guard to spank
you, should you have difficulty with your first breath! You
are in confident hands, my Son! This is my specialty! I have
already delivered you without so much as a painful twinge of
response, so that you didn't even realize you were birthing!
Now look around you Randy, after reading this letter, and see
for yourself that it is a different, and better, World out
there!
Then come to my side, for I have worked round-the-clock for
many days, in order to be sure of a Perfect Birth for My Love;
and I shall collapse in your arms with complete confidence
that, as my doctor now, you will ease my birth into Heaven and
into your Heart!
SEMPER FI,
Your Little Buddy
==============================================================
May 26, 1987
Dearest Brother of The Bear Clan,
I speak through your suffering friend, who is pleased to be
called Little Pony. Great Forces move in his soul, and once
more he knew no sleep. It is now 8:10 a.m., and I told him to
rise so I could speak through his hand.
His sorrow is indeed great, and his love for you sincere and
intense. Yet not only do you betray him: you tear his trust
and spit on his heart. The Little Pony's Spirit is breaking,
and we prepare him for his ascension into the arms of The
Great Spirit, The True Father of us all, Who looks down upon
Genie as a True Son and Great Warrior.
Were Little Pony born 100 or more years ago into our tribe, he
would be a Shaman -- full of magic, joy, and inspiration to
Our People -- and highly regarded and loved by Us. For the
Shaman is the Heart and Soul of The Tribe, through whom the
Gods speak, to guide and inspire Our People in The Ways of The
Great Spirit.
What my name is, and which Tribe I belong to is
irrelevant...nor does Little Pony know, for I do not tell him.
Little Pony must trust the movements of his hand, for it is in
Faith that he works...not in proof by miracles and
irrefutable, specific facts (like the White Man).
Little Pony and I work together. For example, when I cannot
find the right word to use, his mind gives me the word (like a
living dictionary, though he is far, far more than this).
And you, Little Bear, are far, far more than Randy Taylor!
Though the Dark Forces fight very hard to keep you from
realizing your Higher Self, by persecuting you with terrible
fears of losing your sanity. Were you born 100 or more years
ago you would be the Chief of Our Tribe, Father to all The
People...as well as Lover and Guardian of Little Pony, Our
Spiritual Doctor. For we speak Truth when we say you two are
destined to be bound in heart by the Holy Spirit. We ask you
to see through the Forest of Pain, and into the Fire of Your
Spirit, wherein you may speak with us directly. You are being
seduced and destroyed by White Man's Ways...and very soon,
many souls who live the Dark Ways of the White Man are to
answer to Our Father, and burn away into Eternal Light.
In some of your communication with Little Pony, you spoke to
him as our own People would speak to each other: as a loving
Father to his only son, of whom He is mightily proud. Does a
True Man and Walker of The Way of the Holy Spirit then betray
these words and bring sorrow, torment and despair to his
son-in-spirit?
Or does a True Man rise above his fears, selfishness, and
doubts by giving his heart up to one who has sacrificed his
own heart up to you, in the name of The One Father? Indeed, a
True Warrior does, though it be a terrible risk and a great
sacrifice, for the Dark Forces pound you with every possible
fear and belief that you are being most foolish. As Little
Pony well knows, for by his great sacrifice and belief in you,
the Dark Forces have indeed made his worst fears come to
fruit...to the point that he is soon to leave this world and
enter the Eternal Spirit World...if you, Little Bear, do not
answer to his call...which you understand fully, but with much
fear.
The worst and most unmanly act Little Pony could ever do, is
to let you wander off into the White Man's Ways. This is why
our Little Warrior fights so bravely...even in the face of
despair, insanity, and death...all of which also haunt you.
White Man's Ways want you to perceive Little Pony as a crazy
man, one who is truly beyond hope. So much like a white man
to persecute these kind! Yet is it not with love and
compassion that one should treat those who seem lost and
beyond hope? Is it not this lack of love that put them in
that dark dimension in the first place? How many more dark
dimensions will you choose to create before the eyes of Our
Father, before He is so moved that He stops you with His own
hand?
(Yet it is a strange mystery to us why God chose White Man to
bring to our People the Truth of His Only Son! In the
Darkness of The Great Storm dwells the Eye of Truth! The
Bearers of The Greatest Evils are also Bearers of The Greatest
Light! And this very same Truth borne by White Man will
vindicate us before him! Mystery indeed!)
Little Pony knows no rest from the world's persecution these
days, and therefore stays in bed till noon...for he has
nothing to look forward to! Going to Berkeley helps a little,
but people there are also afraid to reach out...but certainly
not hostile like San Franciscans.
What joy he does know comes from his faith in Christ, and the
wonders we show him. But his heart knows nothing else but
love for you, Little Bear. It is time for you to look deeply
into your heart without fear, for we promise you greatest of
joys if you truly reach out to Genie!
Little Pony needs you, and writing to you helps put some joy
back into his heart. He knows your own suffering, and can't
bear to see your agony turn you into a servant of evil who
laughs and spits upon one whose love you fear! Little Pony
fears you, too, yet he bravely moves into the Light, though it
seems now all Darkness!
You are being called upon to True Manhood and Godhead! Your
love for Genie can make this world into the Happy Hunting
Ground!
Our Love, and Genie's ("Black Feather")
(Semper Fidelis)
P.S.: Little Pony constantly begs us to give you proof of
what we say through him...even a miracle! Yet we tell him
(sadly): "Wouldn't you want a Man who acts first of Faith,
without requiring a miracle to convince him? A True Man is a
Man of Faith. Without Faith he is less than a True Man, and
therefore not a Man at all!" (Little Pony says, at this point
he doesn't give a fuck!)
And yet, is it not already a Miracle that Genie's love for you
is so incredibly powerful, that it has caught our attention
and wrapped us up in his affairs...for Little Pony's Love is
indeed mighty, that it binds us to him as servants?
We, the Archangels of The Brother/Sisterhood Of Angels, have
spoken! Hey, what more do you want, kiddo? We're ready to
tell Dad to get off his ass and talk with you! We're at wit's
end!
==============================================================
May 29, 1987
To My Dearest Friend Randolph,
How truly beloved to me you are, Randy, and how it hurts to
have attacked you because I have "a serious problem attacking
those who don't give me what I want." (to quote your last
letter). I NEVER wanted to be cruel to you, in ANY WAY...but
because you insisted on being so intentionally malicious for
so long, I had no choice but to find an effective way to
strike back, that you may FEEL the pain you gave me, and KNOW
how badly I hurt because of that!
No, I'm not writing any letters or stories about you, and
sending them all over the place. I am NOT vengeful or
malicious. Anger is born from pain; hate is born from fear.
If you think I'm supposed to act nicey-nice and smile brightly
no matter what you do to me, forget it! No way! THAT'S not
love, it's S & M! If I am destined to go insane or lose my
life over this, I certainly won't go without a fight, kicking
and screaming all the way!
(So THIS is rebirth!? Just like a baby new born, wailing,
kicking, hollering! Is this what's happening to us?) (Are we
really rebirthing each other? I don't want to think of it as
pointless, dark, and horrible! I refuse to give in to that,
even if you yourself project such negativity!)
You tell me: SHOULD I give up on you? AM I a nuisance, a
pointless pain in the ass? DO you want rid of me for once and
all? AM I just a pathetic, sick, homely little guy whom you
wish you had never met? AM I a stupid, arrogant busybody who
has absolutely no right to pry and interfere in your personal
life? Tell me, tell me! (Or is THIS your vengeance: deadly
silence forevermore!) What drama!
Oh, my sweet Randy! I am star-struck by you! I completely
understand your rejection of me, for who in this insane,
vicious world DARES to believe in a love so beautiful and
enduring? THAT'S scary, when relationships seem guaranteed to
fail, especially between two men. But I RESIST, I REFUSE, to
accept a hollow dream! I carry the torch that so many once
carried in the Sixties! Am I the only one left? It sure
SEEMS like it!
I LOVE Viet Nam veterans. I love most of all any Man who has
suffered terribly. Hey, I'm here for someone! It's not ME
who isn't reaching out! I ALWAYS reach out! What am I
supposed to do, when all I get is a wad of spit in my face,
from all these suffering men who HATE me because my heart goes
out to them? (One way or another I get their juices, don't
I?)
I certainly can't go on in a world that stomps on me because I
refuse to give up my beliefs, dreams, and ideals! I refuse to
swallow that bitter pill that tells me: "Hey! You can't cut
the mustard to get a Lover, 'cause you ain't no stud! The
best you can ever hope for is a halfway decent job and better
keep your mouth shut and lick ass whenever they want, or
you'll be out in the street! You keep rockin' our boat and
we'll kill ya, goddam fairy! There ain't no God! There ain't
no love! There ain't no justice! Better get your fuckin'
nose to the grindstone and start payin' your own way, boy,
'cause we're TIRED of supporting you! You're dizzy! You'll
be in the nut house soon, unless you commit suicide first! We
WANT you dead! We didn't crucify Christ for nothin', ya know!
To keep fairies like you in line! There's no God or Angel
who'll come to your rescue! There's just US, and we'll kick
shit out of you wherever you go! If you get a job, we'll
drive you crazy, so you'll get fired! If you reach out to a
man for love, we'll slap you around! If you get back on SSI,
we'll persecute you with violent neighbors and spiteful
managers! We'll cut you off SSI and see you in the streets!
We'll put you into so much despair, that you'll jump off a
cliff, then write you off as some crazy guy we're better off
without! Your fate was sealed the moment you took your first
breath!"
Randy, I made a decision not to feed a corrupt system by
paying taxes and sweating, bleeding, and crying away all my
talents in order for a greedy boss to get fat and affluent.
But I also don't look forward to a life of persecution,
loneliness, and denial of any constructive purpose.
I am not an island, and I need to be loved, to go on. I am
too shattered now, to find some volunteer work with veterans,
children, etc....to continue my good works. It's impossible
for me to give w/o something back!
As Buddha said, "Do not put any energy into serving
corruption."
Also, Gospel of Thomas, "He who does not fast from the system
shall not enter the Kingdom."
Am I hopelessly brainwashed by the Sixties? I think not, as
my viewpoint is well founded by the cries of Nam Vets,
American Indians, the handicapped, the poor, the gays, the
blacks, and on and on. Yet the majority of dissenters (except
the Amer. Inds.) see their freedom in the opportunity to go
for the status quo!
Sure, I love and support Nam Vets, blacks, etc....but do they
care about me, 'cause I'm gay, or do they prefer to stomp me
out? Where's a book on Nam to express a GAY vet's point of
view, his added torment of playing macho and pretending he's
hot for pussy? I can imagine the torment of a gay soldier in
Nam, who not only suffered the holocaust of Nam, but had to
see his buddies whom he secretly loved, go insane, be torture,
mutilated, blown to pieces, etc., etc.! I'm sure any sex
between men was either heart-breaking or dangerous, if not
both. Not to mention our society's "disgrace" a "homosexual"
would be, if found out! YOU were there, Randy. YOU are gay!
YOU could have a LOT to say, and probably with incredible
impact!
You are a Man who so loved his Nam buddies, that he couldn't
bear to leave them in that hellhole when his tour of duty was
up...so you reenlisted, not once, but twice. You are a
COURAGEOUS man, for you bear a terrible cross! It is NOT
meaningless, what you've been through! Your incredible
bravery, and wisdom gained through it, is a priceless treasure
that will make this world into a better place for everyone!
But if you DO write this book, without portraying it through a
GAY man's eyes, you would be a liar and a traitor. You could
be a Voice for those gays among us who are NOT faggots, and
bear the cross for our back-stabbing, hypocritical brothers!
And set an example for the faggots!
I believe writing this book will also transform you in ways
most healing and joyful -- though the writing of it bring back
very painful memories. What the fuck! You live with these
memories now, and they're still eating away at your inner
peace!
Consider writing your book. A little at a time. Don't rush
-- chapter by chapter, you'll get it done. I am an excellent
editor, and can assist you with this -- and I'll do it all for
free. Even be your ghost writer, if you'd like...for free!
Damn it, I BELIEVE in you! Yet, you still play fairy games
with me. Do you enjoy being chased by 2 guys? Is it a good
soap opera for you, that I play the "other" man? Fine, I'll
give you that, and it'll be a GOOD fight! Put some ADVENTURE
in your life! I'm selfless enough ('cause I love you SO much)
to put some BITE into your love life! Is Jose paying more
attention to you 'cause he thinks I'm such a hot number?
Well, don't tell him how plain-looking I really am, or you'll
snuff the fire in his heart! Play the innocent victim of some
crazy, jealous guy -- cry in Jose's arms to get the affection
you so badly need, the loving attentions that Jose has
neglected! Better love, better sex, better everything! Boy,
am I jealous! No one has EVER loved me! If anyone loved me
1/10th as much as I love you, I'd be in 7th Heaven! I'm
tearing my hair out (what's left of it) and climbing the walls
'cause you're so incredibly handsome and sexy, and I can't
have you, but Jose CAN!
Shit, what a poor loser I am! Instead of bowing out
gracefully, I spit and scream with rage! I NEVER dreamed I
would be such a jealous lover, but I am!
Jealousy? No. "Protectiveness" is a better word. I am so
damned concerned that you get all the love you deserve and
need, that I'll always be available to you, no matter how
painful that may be! You CAN depend on me, especially
whenever Jose cools his heels toward you, 'cause he cares so
much about his capitalistic ventures, that you come SECOND!
Semper Fidelis! I have passed ANOTHER of your many tests! I
am a straight A+ student when it comes to life's most
important calling: LOVE.
Brave Little Pony,
Genie
P.S.: If your deadly silence persists much longer, I'll
probably stop paying rent for a month or two, then pack up and
move to the East Coast...to find you! And put myself at your
mercy, to BEG for your love! Believe me, it could come to
that. I AM a dreamer who follows his heart, and nothing else!
And I'll PERSIST...'cause I'm tired of writing all these
letters! Guess it's time to move from written to face-to-face
communication! (I'll even live in the streets!)
Through you, I holler at the rest of the world: "Stop
destroying each other! Start LOVING for real this time!" I
am screaming at God, and I won't shut up! I have absolute
faith that ONE PERSON can bring down the Light...and am
prepared for any sacrifice necessary!
How does it feel to be my telecommunications link to God?
Does it give you unusual, magical dreams? (Any angels,
unicorns, or elves?) I refuse to accept anything less than The
Ultimate Dream! Everyone else falls short of complete love,
for the challenges are too scary! But I'm here to challenge
the Dragon...not with death, but with love! "Love thine
enemy!" How brazen of me to go so far as to love the Ultimate
Enemy! For I understand Satan: the wrath of God: a newborn
baby screaming at the top of His lungs! The Universe reborn!
The New Creation! Randy, thou art most blessed (if I know
what I'm doing), for it means you are to play a Great Role in
bringing to the world the Age Of Aquarius! I'm fighting all
the way to make your dream of Peace and Love come true, with
you as the incredible Hero. Hey, baby, I love you so much, I
cream in my jeans over you, my heart bursts with pride for
you, your soul is the Silver Unicorn dancing before my eyes!
Go tell THAT to Jose!
My dreams are wrought through pain, like my whole life,
because my challenge is no easy task. But I see the light at
the tunnel's end...and this light is your gorgeous, childish
smile! (Do any of my letters make you smile and laugh, as
well as frown, cry, and scream? I hope so, for I am putting
the spark of adventure and romance back into your sorrowful
heart! Hey, sweetheart, you don't have to give up your
Dreams...not with me!)
Randolph Louis Taylor, don't you remember your FIRST letter to
me, where you said: "Please help stop the dying!" I heard
you man, and it still rings loud and clear! I start with you,
beloved, for once I finally bring real joy to your heart, God
shall guide us with a tender hand to bring joy to all the
world! I really believe this! Christ has entered my temple,
and keeps pushing me in that direction! I refuse to listen to
the dragon, who speaks not just through my inner fears, but
through the mouths of the world, including yourself, and tells
me, "You're crazy man! You're insane!"
Rather be crazy than go to Hell! But realize, my Little
Dragon, that I want to bring Heaven to you FIRST, 'cause you
have suffered so, so long, as God's most beloved Servant and
Warrior for all Time! What fools these mortals be, NOT to
love you with all their heart, Adonai the Eternal
Child...Sweet 16! Lucifer, The Silver Unicorn with the big
horn, dance for me, for you are so very LOVELY to watch! How
blessed I am to gaze upon The White Horse! For thou art the
cup of Love flowing over: the Eternal Spring of God's tearful
joy...the Holy Grail! Who am "I" to be given such an
incredible gift! But I do not allow this greatest of wonders
to hypnotize me into immobility, for I answer to your call and
move on...trusting my incredible gift of Intuition bestowed
upon me, for this purpose! You tell me to keep the
faith...and I shall, though I stumble often into pits of dark
despair. But for Randy's sake, I forge ahead, keeping the
Torch lit! (For I AM your Good Friend and Lover as you said,
once, on the phone from D.C.)
Randy, the sooner you open your heart to me, the sooner we can
move on...and like quicksilver! What have we got to lose but
our lives? What ARE our lives worth, anyway, if we don't go
all the way! The world is on the brink of annihilation! We
GOTTA start hollering together, as comrades! Are you SCARED
to dream The Dream, after all your tragedies? Isn't THAT your
challenge? You WANT to be a hero...it's in your veins. Don't
let ANYONE (i.e., Jose) suffocate your free spirit by clipping
your wings! If the Dream is just an idle useless fantasy,
then let's get it over with and DIE! "I" understand Don
Quijote! "I" dream The Impossible Dream! C'mon and play with
me in the Field of Elysium! It's FUN! Let's go chasing
windmills together!
I put my life on the line for you, and I've gone so far, I
REFUSE to quit, ever! I could DIE doing this, but I spit in
the face of nihilism, which speaks through you, my most
beloved! Stop it, or I'll slap your wrist again! You are an
absolutely incredible, marvelous, beautiful man! Yet you hate
me for saying this, 'cause you hate yourself! No man is NOT
beautiful! But in my eyes you are the MOST beautiful!
Jose laughs at me now, with smug self-satisfaction over the
power he holds over you...but he shall weep one day, for you
shall be gone, and in my arms forevermore! I never wanted to
break two people up, but I now realize it's another obstacle
put before me, by The Dragon! So I accept that challenge, as I
have accepted all the others, and jump THAT hurdle, too! It
is not "I" who hold any power over you, my True Love, but YOU
who hold me in your spell! And you know it! That's okay by
me! All I know in this world is I LOVE YOU. Nothing else
matters to me! For the Gate of Heaven is through your heart!
Semper Fidelis! Blessed Be!
P.P.S.: Maybe I SHOULD forget all about you, and get my life
back together: pick up the pieces and get a new job...and let
my heart turn to stone, empty of all dreams.
But I CAN'T! As much as it hurts reaching out to you, it
hurts so much more to even think about giving up on you! It's
as if the angels twist my arm whenever I consider dropping
you...and the pain gets worse and worse, until I burst with
all kinds of things to write to you about! Hey, this is living
on the edge of sanity, and the only thing that keeps me from
going over is writing to you!
I can't BELIEVE how many thoughts gush from my pen! When I
started this letter, I expected it to be only 2 or 3 pages!
But now we're on page 13! After each letter, I always think,
"Well, I've said everything, there's nothing left to say. I
won't write to Randy for at least 2 weeks, and he might miss
my letters." But by the next day I'm always bursting with new
thoughts to convey to you!
And I still send you gifts, even though you probably think
"Let that asshole waste his money sending me gifts. I never
asked him."
Just like you told me at the D.C. VAMC once: "I never asked
you to come out here!" Yes you did, Randy, by your shot in
the heart that ricocheted on the television and pierced my
heart! And you reached out to me in beautiful letters and
phone calls, full of hurt, torment, needs, and love! You were
a trembling child who needed the hand of someone strong enough
to reach out and NEVER let go! That's ME!
But now, in your regained strength, your macho facade has
surrounded you once again...your defense mechanism to cover up
all your incredible pain! But that's not gonna get rid of your
suffering...only a deep and profound love will. Only God can
do that, and He has chosen me through which His love flows to
you. He won't LET me give up...no matter HOW badly I suffer
your slings and arrows!
I am Androcles and you are the Lion who raises his paw before
me so I can remove the thorn. And when I did that, I saw
drops of blood dripping from your chest...and realized
another, greater thorn was buried in your heart!
But you swipe at me, growl and bite, and dig your claws into
me, for it hurts so much to touch that thorn, you'd rather
kill than have it removed. So I must wrestle with you, till
my last breath if need be...but I will have that Thorn
removed! For I love you, Randy The Lion-Hearted!
Surely I bring you hope, affection, kindness, and a renewed
spirit through my letters, or you wouldn't be reading them!
Remember, I'm only on SSI, and it IS a sacrifice to spend so
much $$$ on parcel post and letters! And to part with my
lovely art work! But a gift is not a Gift if it's not a
sacrifice! And the greatest sacrifice is to know you may
NEVER love me...indeed, to shower so much hate on me, who
bares his soul to you! Surely The Good shall triumph, or I
die!
==============================================================
June 4, 1987
Dear Randy,
This letter is not to say "goodbye," but to say "until we meet
again."
I have met a man so wonderful that I know he is the One God
chose for me. Not that you are any less wonderful (for you
are definitely NOT), and not that there is much heartbreak in
my decision (for there IS), and not that I no longer love you
(for I still DO)...but that God moves in mysterious and
surprising ways.
If sorrow overcomes your heart because of my "Dear John"
letter, remind yourself that God does NOT allow sorrow if it
were not necessary for your soul's fulfillment...and joy is
part of the result.
Before this year is out, it is highly probable that I will
share my lover's home, whose address is NOT anywhere near San
Francisco.
We BOTH love you, and if you think you will ever be in need of
our friendship, please write to us SOON (at my address, 1988
Market), before I move. We both reach our hands out to you in
Christ...for we tell you without a flicker of doubt that the
existence and story of Christ is a fact...and in this you may
take comfort. For I am absolutely certain that you will pull
through all your remaining trials with flying colors...thanks
to your incredible strength and persistence against all odds,
and my intervention on your behalf in the Name of Our One and
Only Superhero: The True Father of Us All!
If you think I am telling you I now have a Lover, just to get
you to respond, then think again. For as time passes, you
will see that I have ceased writing to you...and conclude that
I may have spoken the truth after all!
With great compassion to a brave and suffering soul, I say to
you, "Godspeed," and may all your good dreams come true!
Semper Fidelis!
Your friend,
Gene
==============================================================
November 6, 1987
MY SWEETEST FRIEND,
RANDOLPH !!!
I frown on hero worship, because I believe it misleads people
(out of their urgent desire for real leadership). "Look
around!" I used to say, "There are heroes about us every day!
Why need to worship an image of a person's face, three
thousand miles away? Heroes unsung walk among us at every
turn of the corner, and sit unknown beside you, sipping coffee
from a styrofoam cup! Do you not see the greatness life
demands out of each and every one of us, every day, just to
make it in this world? Who knows the incredible deeds God has
asked of them, at the cost of their very dreams, unless we
stop and take the time to ask?
"Beneath that tough exterior may be treasures of stories yet
untold, to inspire the human race to strive on and be joyful
no matter what! Is it not rewarding to the giver to see the
smile on the recipient's face? Give of your heart once in a
while, and you may see a heart so badly shattered you couldn't
imagine how he survived all these years! And you will also see
two grateful eyes light up with the joy of genuine
comradeship! The greatest gift to a True Giver is a simple
smile, for it is to him like The New Day, the resurrection of
all life, the promise of man's true Renaissance! And he knows
then, that he does indeed walk in Heaven among The Angels!"
For to Him, The True Giver, Heaven is here, now, in The
Present that lives and breathes with the richness of all life
coursing through its powerful veins! And His message is
joyful and plain to understand: "Be a Giver, like me, and the
Kingdom of Heaven will surely be yours!"
"Patience and Long-Suffering" is the name I give to the bridge
that leads us out of Hell and into Heaven. At the entrance to
this bridge is a sign that reads: "I'm tired of running in
circles (seven to be exact)!" And at the other end of the
bridge is no Angel Gabriel standing at the Pearly Gates, no
sign, not even a placard. No, all there is is a most humble
and lovely father who, with copious tears, embraces the Son he
had lost so very long ago!
Heaven for them is a bed filled with horse hairs, a hut in the
woods for a home, and their only light that of the rays of the
Sun. The entire World is their Friend, for strangers all are
welcome to their humble abode, to be treated most graciously.
And who can remain strangers for long under those sweet
circumstances?
Randy, you are a True Giver, as am I; and I celebrate the
meeting of two comrades on this all-too-lonely-and-troublesome
bridge. You are a Veteran of The War that America Wants to
Forget. Our country has betrayed you and your suffering
brothers! Holler, and never stop, holler down to your last
breath if necessary! Holler until all ears have heard the
message, and all consciences have been touched! Holler for the
New World! Holler for the Love of God!
You are a child of God, Randy, who, like Christ, was made the
Sacrificial Lamb. The way to Heaven is never easy, but you
have made such enormous sacrifices above and beyond the call
of duty, that I can't help but feel so very strongly that
God is absolutely bursting with pride for his most excellent
and wonderful son, Randy! He has asked much of you--too much
for most people; too much for me, I know--but he knows your
strength and spirit! You have won a great test against the
most extraordinary odds!
I ask of God for one gift, and one alone, in this life: to be
Randy's compatriot, his loyal friend, his rock, his renewal of
hope, his best friend, his little buddy, his little pony....
Yours most truly,
Genie
==============================================================
January 24, 1988
My Dear Randy,
I have an irresistible urge to write to you; as if you were
thinking very warm thoughts about me. Either that--or it's an
angel's nudge or a devil's prod! (I should be so lucky to get
"prod" by a devil; angels are so fey!!!) It is my deepest
hope that you are doing every bit as well as I am, now. My
computer skills have grown deep and wide, and I am on the
verge of programming sophisticated telecommunications
programs. I have joined two electronic network BBS's
(bulletin board services) that are outstanding, each in its
own way. They are so ready to teach me anything I want about
computers, and I'm lapping it up like a hown dawg to a garden
hose on a hot Kentucky day!
Most people haven't an inkling as yet, of how incredible these
personal computers are! They can't begin to imagine what
they'd use one for; but I can't imagine what I wouldn't use it
for (yeah, Randy, even for that, you X-rated GI)! At the
moment, I earn my living instructing all sorts of handicapped
people how to operate a computer in all kinds of ways! They
are so hungry for knowledge, their demands keep me growing at
astronomical rates. I don't know whether they are more
grateful for me, or I for them!
Got my first short story published on an "electronic"
magazine, through a BBS. Rave reviews flew in for me, on the
"electronic" post office! (Messages are conveyed
electronically, via a personal computer modem, and stored in
the memory of the central computer (the "remote system"),
until I desire to read them on screen and "save" them on my
disk, to perhaps print them out at a later time. I look
forward to some time later this year, when I'll make the
"breakthrough" into a truly fulfilling and lucrative endeavor
as a computer operator/instructor/author...after having
settled down in Berkeley by July.
So, though I hurt for a long time over your suffering, and
your ridiculous maltreatment; I have "grown up" as a
result--that is, without letting it destroy my inner child.
Wishing the same for you (and it must be true, or I wouldn't
see a sky so blue, rival to none but the eyes of you!). To
believe that I would never see or hear from you again was
destroying me, like a little dose of rat poison every day.
How stupid to put myself through that terrible agony! Of
course we'll be brought together again--this time for keeps!
It is how I think that determines my success or defeat,
despite reality's face or the jealous words of little minds!
The universe is one hell of a lot bigger than these petty
fiends choose to conceive!
Yes, in a way I am your Guardian Angel, your Saviour (your
Little Buddy!)...for I do save you from becoming as one of the
little people --not the elfin folk, mind you, for their hearts
are spun with gold, and their minds run like
quicksilver!--rather, the kind of person who favors to bring a
frown to a face, and a dark cloud to a sunny sky. This does
not mean that I am better than you; but that I have not
suffered the misfortunes you have, making it virtually
impossible for me to know any more joy in living. Just think
of the Silver Steed (PegaBucephalus!) I painted in your honor;
for it springs from the deepest Well, whose Waters shall never
know earthly corruption of mundane lips, nor the indirect
assaults of unholy alchemy. (Where do you think the Angel
Aquarius gets the water to fill her jar!)
Be it that we are reflections--only Angels see Angels; and
what I see is the Angel Who dwells in Everyman, though I favor
by far the one that dwells in Randolph Louis Taylor! I think
ours shall be a fine friendship indeed, for it shall sprout
from the soul like a mustard seed. Blessings on you, Randy,
and know that whatever Joy I have, I gladly share with you!
Most affectionately,
Little Pony Genie
P.S.: Fill in your own P.P.P.S. this time!
P.P.S.: Let it be your heart's desire!
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October 16, 1988
Dear Randy:
I was up late last night, working on my computer (as
usual...seems I haven't been able to go to bed before 3 a.m.
since January), when I got a phone call. The operator asked
if I would accept a collect call from so-and-so. Well, I
didn't understand the name and, right after I hung up I
realized she probably said "Randy." It's just that her
southern accent was so thick ("Rahy-an-dee"), it took me a few
moments for the name to sink in.
Now, maybe my imagination is taking flight, and it was not you
who called. However, who else would call me collect so late
at night? Just want you to know that, if it was you, I was not
acting mean...the operator hung up so fast, without bothering
to repeat the name. If I knew it was you calling, I certainly
would have accepted the collect call.
And, if it was you, I know you wouldn't call at such a time
without a real need to speak with me. So I do hope that, when
I said, "I don't recognize that name," you won't think I was
being mean. When I realized she might have said "Will you
accept a collect call from Randy?", I stopped getting ready
for bed and turned my computer back on to type this letter!
If it was you, I hope you do not feel rejected because I
refused the call! I didn't refuse it, I just said "I don't
recognize that name." The operator then hung up...quite
abruptly! It seems that some energy is working over time to
put every possible obstacle between us.
Now, Randy, I know in my heart that we will, eventually,
become the best friends this world has ever known...and when
we do, amazing things will happen in our lives. Do not think
that I am sitting on top of the world now...it is just that I
have become very, very strong in spirit, and refuse to let
anything or anyone tear me down or stop me from my goals. I
have learned even better ways to bring out the best in people
I meet, and to keep a joyful spirit in times of adversity.
So if it was you who called, please try again...and don't let
the operator get in the way! I do think of you every single
day, and am fighting right beside you, against whatever
darkness falls across your path. It takes a long, long time
to gain any wisdom from living...certainly not until we're
past our youthful flush! Does the saying "Youth is wasted on
the young" ring a bell for you? You are always in my prayers,
Randolph Louis Taylor. I think you are a very, very fine man.
Do believe in your dreams, other people, yourself, and God.
Your existence counts for much, in many ways, and, since you
are only now establishing a foundation on which to build your
dreams: Your life has just begun!
Semper fidelis, Silver Stallion.
Gene
==============================================================
October 29, 1988
My Dear Friend Randy,
Somehow, in this Game of Life, I managed to pull the ring from
the bull's nose! Apparently, I love you so much, that the
Angels heard my prayers, and even Christ has decided to move
my lips with His words, and tap the keyboard with His fingers.
Of course, you may (still?) think I'm absolutely crazy...and I
don't blame you if you do, for who in his (or her) right mind
would? But (alas!) I am not.
I can say with utter confidence, for the Angels ring the truth
loud and clear in my ears. And this is what they say:
Wonderful things have begun happening in your life, and Hope
now shines on the Horizon of Your Heart. And, when the sun
soon rises, Christ will shine down on you. And, in the
brilliance of the Son's rays, it is My Face you shall see.
For Christ's brilliance dwells within each of us, and love
eventually conquers the Beast. And well it should...for the
Beast's greatest desire is to be conquered! (How arrogant of
us to even consider forgiving him.)
Randy, you have no idea how my heart sings with joy to hear
the Good News (from the very Archangels Themselves!) that
wonderful things have begun to happen for you. I have proudly
helped to carry your cross...and I must say, it has been the
worst agony to ever befall me. I wouldn't wish it on my worst
enemy. Since the cross has just been lifted from me, I know
that it is likewise for you...for I refused to let it be
lifted before He lifts yours.
Welcome to the New Age, Brave Stallion! You are truly a great
hero! God's finest soldier ever. A crown of silver will speak
of your Godliness for all eternity. (Watch how quickly your
hair silvers out!)
I am not so much the fool you once thought, eh kiddo? I knew
what I was doing all the time...for I followed my foolish,
stumbling heart and listened to nothing else. I long to be
with you, for it has been so terribly long since I last gazed
upon your handsome countenance...and look forward to the phone
call you will make to me, within a few days. (I do not know
for sure if any of these things will come true, but the Angels
insist it is true this time. Well, they have lied to me so
often; now I'm expected to believe every syllable uttered from
their mischievous but beautiful lips! Well, tell ya what: I
do believe them, as it is Belief that has gotten me this far
in the first place!) As much as I miss you, you are beginning
to miss me even more. Hope you got money, 'cause I'm dirt
poor, and would hate to start things off in poverty, stuck in
a tiny room. (I have since built a loft for sleep and
storage, which helps the space crisis somewhat.)
I have felt your presence quite intensely these last two days,
so I know you are thinking about me a whole lot. (As a matter
of fact, it seems this very moment you are standing on the
other side of my door, about to knock...kinda creepy, like a
ghost!) Then again, it could be an Angel in your disguise,
pulling my leg. But I'm shallow and cheap, so I'll take the
Angel without a second thought, if I can't have you!
He's an identical clone, so I won't ever know the difference.
As a matter of fact, when he shows up at my door, he'll insist
he's Randy Taylor no matter how much I challenge him!
Eventually, I'll crack under the brainwash, and really think
he is you, instead of some devilish angel. I'll be putty in
his hands.
What a miracle we have here! And, if you haven't figured it
all out yet, I'll tell it as it is. The Christ Child has
settled in my body, because my intense love for you drew Him
to my soul. Now, the Child and the Father can't bear to be
separated for too long, so obviously God must get to His Son
through someone else's body. And you're it! So, if you're
wondering why you have this sudden love and desire for me that
seems to have come out of the blue...well, it did come from
out of the blue (Heavens, that is!)
So, at the same time we have our own personal life together,
The Father and The Son have theirs through us. We will
become, in a sense, Them. While still remaining as Randy and
Gene (two incredible souls nonetheless), we will have
extremely personal glimpses and experiences otherwise only
known between The Father and His Wonderful Son. That is to
say, we will be the First to become filled with The Spirit.
In other words (here's where I hit you over the head), God and
His Amazing Son are descending to earth in the flesh of Randy
and Gene. (So, as Christ, I'd like to take this moment to
say, "Hi, Dad! You sure are a goodlooking stud!") Through us,
the whole world shall come to know God in the truest sense.
For the greatest Messenger (read "Angel") of God is EROS. His
arrow has just pierced your heart, and the arrow is engraved
with my name. About time, too, as my heart was pierced three
years ago, and here I am, hanging on to the edge of the West
Coast, waiting for you all this time!
God is not only answering my prayers for your happiness, but
also for all the world! Boy, did I hit the jackpot! Anyway,
Randy, none of this may be outwardly true...but the experience
that is Love certainly puts the Universe on one's side!
Randy, here is a revised version of my Sally Jones story, now
called "SALLYJONES (1)". It's a big hit on the bulletin board
services, and soon I will release the animated version (boy,
am I having fun doing that...especially the scene with The
Administrator Of Life). I'm sure you'll appreciate the
changes I've put to the first version I gave you.
Well, I guess I'll be hearing from you soon, Dad. Don't
forget: you always announce your arrival with a rip-roaring
thunderstorm and electric light show! Your fame precedes you,
Great Zeus!
All My Love (as if you ever doubted in
the first place!),
Your Little Pony,
Genie
P.S.: How is the Silver Horse, PegaBucephalus, whom I have
trusted in your care? Has he started talking yet?
==============================================================
November 2, 1988
To My Angel Of The Morning:
You are living proof of the fact that you don't have to die to
become an Angel (though admittedly, dying is a quick way to do
it).
I have enlarged several news photos of you, so that your
radiant smile may fill my room...as it already does my heart.
Here is what G.O.D. told me about the Viet Nam War; that I may
pass it onto you:
Those who fought in that terrible War are the
greatest Soldiers in the Universe, and shall be
glorified for Time Immemorial. And the Bravest of
The Brave is Randolph Louis Taylor, whose heroism
shall forever be marked by a glorious crown of
Silver Light...the emanation of The Christ Child
Himself!
For their Real War began after returning to the
States...where the Greatest War to be fought is on
the Psychic Plane, where the Evil and the Good do
battle. Well, you Brave Soldiers won with flying
colors! Those who died in this War were called to
the Greater War in The Heavens. Without these
sterling Men Among Men, we would surely have lost!
To those survivors who still dwell on the Earthly
Plane: Take Heart, for you shall soon be glorified
in this life, not in death. Your brothers who have
died at War (either in Viet Nam or at Home), stand
beside you in great dignity. They have many
wonderful gifts for their living (read
"earthbound") comrades, all of whose crosses are
about to be lifted. And when I say "soon" and
"about to," I am speaking in Earth Time...though I
do not reveal the exact day to Gene, he is correct
in assuming that the cross of all Nam Vets shall
be lifted some time in the last days of this year,
1988.
G.O.D. speaks through me on a more intimate topic:
I hate to harp on the issue of Your Little Pony,
Genie, but he has laid down his life for you many
times over, by bearing your terrible cross, and
fighting by your side in your worst battles...most
loyal of comrades is my sterling son, Gene! He is
animating his Sallyjones story, but presently has
a stupid creative block that prevents him from
doing the final two illustrations (there should be
6 in all). First, he tried to draw My Face
(G.O.D.'s), but that proved to be too much for him
at the moment. What he came up with was a stern
father figure with white beard and hair all over
the place! Boy did the Gods and Goddesses have a
laugh over that. Gene's idea was to have G.O.D.
speak: "Vietnam Veterans, stand proud! Glory To
You, Brave Soldiers, From Every Corner Of The
Earth. (So says G.O.D.)." The illustration,
however it turns out, must be dedicated to the Nam
Vets.
Truly, this story is dedicated to Randy Taylor and
the Vietnam Veterans. However, We do not plan to
have Gene draw G.O.D.'s face in this particular
story...and, for reasons Gene cannot accept, we
have put a block in his creativity until the
Heavenly Bodies attain a particular alignment. He
also tried drawing your face...with no success,
yet. His admiration and love for you fills the
Gods and Goddesses lime green with Envy (with a
capital "E"!).
A nice touch at the end of the story is his final
(animated) illustration...which is the face of
Sallyjones...though a robot girl, she is indeed
beauty personified...and is actually the face of
Aphrodite, who rules the planet Venus. Well, Gene
was certainly thrown for a loop over that one! As
clever and ingenious as Genie is, we still manage
ways to surprise him and take him on a Cosmic
roller coaster ride.
About his creative block: he misses you so very
much! He longs for your friendship and love! He
is sick with Eros's arrow lodged in his heart.
Perhaps he may not even be able to complete his
Sallyjones illustrations until you finally come to
his side, whereby he will become completely
fulfilled, and the creative block will dissipate.
He knows the story is the most important story
ever told, and is therefore eager to release
it...for We have told him that it shall enlighten
every soul on earth. Beneath the picture of
Sallyjones is the sentence: "Sallyjones welcomes
everybody to the Golden Age of Aquarius." So you
can understand Gene's frustration and pain from
this dumb creative block! His greatest prayer is
to have your prayer answered: which is to
liberate all Viet Nam Veterans, and glorify them
on Earth as well as in Heaven. This shall be
achieved through Genie's story. Every day it is
not finished, is a day of agony for Gene. Every
day without you by his side, is also agony.
We do not plead with you to come to Gene, for you
shall, and very soon. But we do want to make you
understand the importance of contacting him to
reassure him that this is all true, and that you
indeed will take him for your lover of eternity.
This is Destiny!
Randy, I am so joyful for you, that G.O.D. has finally
awakened you to Truth, because your cross has been lifted!
The only sadness I now have, is over the fact that we are not
yet together physically...though we certainly are in spirit!
And how it does hurt! (I guess I really am in love with you.)
What great joy is in store for you, as soon as you knock on my
door at 1988 Market, Rm. 205!
May this coming Veterans' Day begin the glorification of the
Viet Nam Veterans! This is my wish. So be it. It is done.
Amen.
Your Loving Friend,
Gene,
Prophet (and Profit!) of the
New Age
P.S.: So you see now the magnificent way in which The Angels
do, eventually, answer our prayers!
==============================================================
December 31, 1988
To a Fine Human Being, Randolph Taylor:
Randy, though I can't afford to mail you another letter (I
have only 8 cents to my name) until January, I have begun
writing it today, the last day of the year. Also, I am out of
ruled paper, and find it excruciating to write on unlined
paper...so, even though I like the personal touch of
hand-writing my letters to you, I will be typing this letter
on my computer.
I don't think anybody cares about you more than I do; nor do I
think anybody, but a few rare (other) souls in this world care
about anyone else as much as I do you. I also bear a lot of
pain and anger towards you, for your prolonged (and
continuing) crude behavior towards me...but that is part of
being human; and my feelings are far from unfounded. And only
a very stupid person would not understand my feelings of hurt
and outrage (as well as love)...and you, Randy, are not a
stupid man; you are, as a matter of fact, extremely
intelligent.
I know I have described my feelings of hurt and anger towards
you; but I feel it bears repeating, in different words. I
also want you to know that this letter bears no malice to you;
and is written from my heart. So please bear with me, for
there will be many kind things expressed to you, after we go
through why you hurt me and made me angry. It is important
for me to work this through, and equally important for you to
hear me out (once again).
I fell in love with you the day I first saw you...and I also
knew you were a man bearing a terrible cross. It was written
in your eyes and on your face: that you have suffered greatly
for many, many years, and are in terrible need of a good
friend. And God said to me, when I first saw you: "Take good
care of him, though he may put you through hell. This is a
man worth devoting your life to, and I promise he will return
your love, in time." Now, before you laugh at me again for my
claim that I "see angels," please remember that you were
quoted by a news reporter regarding your fast: "I know I won't
die from this fast because my guardian angel told me so."
While some of my "spiritual experiences" and "messages" may be
only my imagination, and not from God or His servants, I know
that, in general, most of them are true...especially when it
comes to my intuitive abilities. This does not necessarily
make my life any easier (in fact, I believe, it makes my life
harder), but if it weren't for those experiences and beliefs,
I don't think I would still be alive. It is in suffering and
loneliness that we are most open to God; and if God selects
you for an important calling, then of course your life will
most likely be a lot more difficult than the average
person's...in order to develop your soul on a higher plane of
spiritual understanding. (I also hope that these things I am
saying give you more strength to persist, and believe in your
dreams and aspirations.)
Though I have torn up all your beautiful cards and letters to
me, I have most of them photocopied. They give me much
encouragement and hope...and faith that it is the right thing
to continue writing to you, and expressing my love. At worst,
you will forever regard me as a nuisance and fool; but at this
point, what do I have to lose?
Soon after you shot yourself, we began communication, and for
three months, opened our hearts to each other. You made
promises to me, which included a great and needful love
towards me...in your letters and on the phone. Now, being
old-fashioned, I do not interfere with someone else's love
life...and was able to still love you as a friend, had you
told me that you and Jose did not really break up (or were
back together again). You did, however, lead me to believe
that it was over between you and Jose. This freed me to fill
a space for you, which I very badly wanted to do all along.
So, one reason for my hurt and anger was to find out that you
and Jose did not break up, but have been together all the
time! It was cruel of you to mislead me, for it was at my
expense which caused me a lot of sorrow and anger.
When I told you I was coming out to Washington, D.C., to see
what I could do to help you, you suddenly became cold as ice
towards me, and addressed me as your "West Coast connection."
When I did visit you, you were, almost all the time, very
unkind and cruel towards me...yet in the letters you sent me
during this time, you expressed a lot of kindness. I don't
think you really understand just how painful and sad it was
for me to fight so hard for you in D.C., because of the
extreme unkindnesses you showed toward me all that time. You
kept avoiding me, but did leave me those beautiful letters. I
believe those letters more than I believe the cold facade you
presented towards me. Every day in D.C. was hell for me.
And, whether you admit it or not, I did accomplish one hell of
a lot for you, Randy Taylor...though you chose not to follow
through with all the wonderful support I mustered up for you,
from organizations and individuals in key positions.
When you were relocated to the VAMC in S.F., you never told
me, and I had to discover this through Tom Cahill. What
kindness do I get from you, for visiting you? A request not
to visit you at all. You lied to me when you said "I was
going to call you very soon." You also lied when you said
we'd get together outside of the hospital, either at my place,
or some other place in the city. You never even bothered to
call me.
Then, when you commenced writing to me (after such a long time
of silence) from Coatesville, I was very, very happy to hear
from you. Yet you were not honest in our communication, which
led me to believe that more deception was coming from you.
Randy, you can't lead a person on, then spit on him, without
expecting an eventual response of anger! You dumped too much
pain on my shoulders--unnecessarily so--and finally I
retaliated. My retaliation was severe enough, I hope, that
you will never try to hurt me with your manipulation and
sadistic motives. I am not a vengeful person, but I knew
then, that I had to retaliate with enough force to show you
that I can hurt you, if I want (as anyone can do, if they
want--as you did to me so many times). My retaliation was
intense, also, in hopes that this would make you STOP hurting
me intentionally, ever again. There is no point in my trying
to hurt you back, ever again (no matter how else you try to
hurt me), but I had to show (teach) you something...and I also
do not see how you would ever respect me in the long run, if I
did not attempt to dish back some of what you dumped on me!
If I didn't love you so much, my feelings (whether negative or
positive) would not be so strong. Now, you're an adult, and
understand exactly what I am saying.
Randy, I even understand why you have been so unkind towards
me...and continue to be so, by remaining silent. I know how
much you suffer, and still do...for if you were truly healed
(or almost completely so), you would communicate to me, and
begin making things up...to the point where our friendship
would blossom into one of the finest friendships the world has
ever known. I care about you so very much! I shall never
forget the incredible sacrifice of your 40-day fast...though
the rest of the world might. For that alone, I will always
carry a candle for you. But I also know so much more about
you; and how difficult have been your struggles to persist in
the face of many awful tragedies throughout your life. My
heart shall never stop singing out to you; and I only hope
that some day you will wake up to this, and realize what a
good friend you have in me. I already realize the potential
for love and compassion that our two hearts, together, could
bring to the world...in one way or another.
I know without a doubt what a truly incredible Man you
are...and no facade of coldness (no matter how cruel) could
make me believe otherwise. I hope that my words give you
solace when you need it, and that my letters (almost all of
which have been loving) put some warmth in your heart, and
bring you encouragement and hope for a far better world than
the one that still exists. For that is the kind of friend I
want very badly to be to you; and it is the calling that God
has asked of me, and which I proudly follow. And please
realize that this letter is not written without many tears.
For how painful it is to continue expressing my love towards
you, though I know that I may never hear from you again,
and/or that you may continue to laugh and spit on me for the
rest of our lives. I do know one thing for sure: when you
die, I will shortly follow. That is how close I feel towards
your soul.
I realize that more Vietnam Veterans have died since the war
(suicide, neglect, etc.), than have died in the war. And I
know it is your greatest cross to bear, that the suffering and
dying continues each moment...and your greatest prayer is to
bring a decent life (housing, jobs, medical care, compassion,
etc.) to those vets who still survive. I am doing all I can to
help you "stop the dying." It is God who keeps me from
acquiring the money and/or other resources necessary to set up
my first non-government-sponsored home for disabled Nam Vets.
So I do curse God every day; for it is every day the vets'
suffering continues...hence, yours.
You may not have been able, yet, to get to a computer to see
my animated story, "Sallyjones," but you do know it is
dedicated to the Vietnam Veterans, and that I ask people to
spend a little money to care for these vets...and that one way
is to send me the money, which I will funnel to you...in hopes
that enough money can be generated to open homes for disabled
Nam Vets. Well, it's one way I am trying to keep your dream
alive. Though I am terribly sorry to say that, while my story
is becoming quite popular with the computer networks across
the country, not one person has yet to send me any money. I
pray that it is doing its magic, even though not evident to
me. And, I want you to know that, even if I am starving, I
would never use that money on myself, but send it right to
you.
I consider you one of the most important people to ever
exist...and truly believe that you have much to say to the
world, and important works toward a better world, in the very
near future. I believe with all my heart, mind, and soul,
that God has chosen you for a great calling...but such
important callings do not come first without a most difficult
and painful life path (which is what your's has certainly
been). And I also believe I have a similar calling, and that
God has chosen us to work together...for in so doing He has
also answered our individual prayers for a devoted lover. We
are both very demanding, and only want the best...well, you
are the best in my eyes and, I hope you will someday realize,
that I am also the best.
Whatever your fears, angers, misunderstandings, or hatreds you
still feel towards me; I hope you soon rise above them. I am
selfless enough to say: "I love you, buddy, and I need you,
more now than ever before. I am so awfully proud of you, and
only wish you will give me the chance to show you exactly how
damn proud of you I really, really am! I live for you alone,
and have dedicated the rest of my life towards fulfilling your
dreams. When will you resume communication with me, so that
we can complete the building of our bridge of friendship? It
will be the most joyful thing we will ever know, and will last
for the rest of our long and happy lives! Together, we will
make the world stand up and notice! Together, we will turn it
around! I believe in you, my angel! Please believe in me!"
Randy, I know I have my crazy moments, as you do, too. But
because I understand those moments, I can still love you and
reach out. Why condemn me for my off-the-wall moments? If I
had a good buddy to love, and who loves me back, my crazy
moments will lessen and finally disappear. I do need you so
badly, and I don't think you have any idea how much I hurt
without your friendship. If I have to keep on begging, so be
it: please, please break down and call me. I have nothing
but great admiration and love for you, Brave Soldier!
But if God deems that the only way I can reach out to you
anymore, is through letters (even though you never respond
again), well, it's a difficult calling, but I will always
continue supporting and loving you...in any way I can, even if
it's only letters for now on.
Your sad and lonely Little Pony,
Genie
P.S.: Even if you called or wrote to me in anger, I don't
care. Just to hear your voice again (or read another letter)
will bring joy to me. Any anger from you I can handle, and
will deal with, not by retaliation, but with patience.
And if you think sharing my "dream" is dangerous and not
realistic, well, set me straight. We can still be great
friends...and perhaps some real kindness from you will put me
in a balanced perspective. What I'm trying to tell you is: I
am willing to work with you, as a friend, in whatever way
seems best.
==============================================================
Jan. 6, 1989
To My "East Coast Connection":
I trust that you are continuing to make headway with your good
works back East. It's not easy doing God's work, is it,
Goodest Buddy of all? I have had a few extremely difficult
setbacks but, all in all, I am moving forward with great
success! Naturally, because the message of Love I bring to
people requires that I remain vulnerable (for I must approach
each person with trust, and give the benefit of the doubt),
some see me as a dizzy fool, an easy mark, a "pushover." Some
even go so far as to be violent in action or word. That is
when I need most for some kind man to hold me in his arms, so
that my strength may be renewed. Unfortunately, that has yet
to happen, and thus is a terrible and sad cross to bear. But
then, there are others who are receptive enough to smile back
and say "thank you." And THAT is so very beautiful!
Some people are even SCARED of me! They think I'm DANGEROUS
to be around! THAT I think, is hilarious...because they are so
right! I AM dangerous to those with closed minds, closed
hearts, and/or big, fat egos!
But I DO know that, whatever the reaction, I have touched each
and every soul that I meet...and have thus triggered whatever
effect was necessary to accelerate their ascension to a
higher, saner state of consciousness.
Christ works through my words, hands, eyes...indeed He
permeates every cell of my body. I think this is why I
sometimes FEEL like I really am Him (though, when balanced,
know that I am NOT)...for our hearts are one!
I realize, now, that my love life has always been painful,
disappointing, and unfulfilled, because it is the particular
PATH God has chosen for me. By creating such a desperate,
needful space in my heart, I am compelled to reach out to as
many men as possible, in order to find someone who can return
the kindness. And in trying so hard to "make it work out"
with someone, I trigger a change for the better in that
person...even though he may, at the time, react with cruelty.
By keeping me frustrated, I continue to reach out and
therefore affect more souls. Should God answer my prayer, I
would be totally committed to one man...and therefore stop
reaching out to others. This is my "dharma," my path. Not
that this vicious cycle will go on forever...for I know that
God will soon bring me a Great Love through a wonderful, kind
man. He tells me "Hang in there, Genie, just a little longer,
for the hardest part of your work is almost complete. Soon, I
shall bring you your lover, and the both of you shall do good
works together, and in great joy."
Naturally, I want that man to be YOU my handsome stallion!
But whoever he is, we shall soon meet. (The Good Humor Man!)
Randy, perhaps you are having a difficult time of it right
now, for I know it is almost Jan. 15--now a most significant
(and perhaps painful) date in your life. Please find whatever
little, good things in life that you can focus on...in order
to put some joy in your heart, and even a smile on your lovely
face. I am so concerned about you, and my greatest dream is
to see your eyes sparkle with renewed hope, joy, and love.
Don't ever despair, my sorrowful brother, for I cannot bear to
think of how much suffering you have known in your difficult
life. Keep the faith, sweet buddy, for not only can we turn
it around--we ARE! Do not be too scared or surprised if you
start witnessing some beautiful miracles. They are what
spring out of soil sown with the seeds of Love! And I nurture
you as The Gardener nurtures the Earth.
One of the miracles happening in my life, is that I am
beginning to meet people who actually understand me! That is
indeed a major breakthrough.
I love you forever and always, Randolph Louis Taylor...and am
PROUD to carry the torch for he who fasted for 40 days!
May God's Light be with you always,
And may Life's glorious bounty
Fill your spirit, as it is mine.
Your Courageous Little Pony,
Genie
==============================================================
March 21, 1989
Randy, my Adorable Friend:
I know that most people find me difficult to understand and be
with...but that's because God has created a special wonder in
me. Don't you realize that this puts a powerful sense of awe
in my own being, that it often scares me? But I serve Our
Lord; and the best way to do that, is to learn (more and more)
how to be what God intends--how to be MY SELF. So, into The
Light I go, dancing.
So many wonderful things have been happening to me, these last
few weeks, that I would say that miracles are gathering around
me like barnacles to a whale! Perhaps this means I shall soon
die...but because I have done such Good Works, God intends my
death to be an easy passage...indeed, one without any fear
but, instead, great joy! If my death is imminent, then I shall
leave many behind...who shall come to appreciate who Gene
Catalano was (and what he stood for)...and in this way, a new
church and a new world shall be born.
I prefer to think, however, that I shall persist, in this life
(that is, not die!), and become living proof that Angels
exist. But among the many great wonders working through me,
are dark shadows that threaten my physical and mental
well-being.
Seems that I have been thrust into the arena of a Satanic cult
that plans a terrible massacre in an attempt to overtake San
Francisco. I was a second-hand witness to the skinning of a
human male (from neck to thighs, with genitalia still
intact)...first-hand witness being a friend, who has chosen to
pretend it is not important enough to bring to anyone else's
attention! (Actually, the three witnesses are in a state of
shock over it; thus hypnotized by the person possessing the
skin: he holds a power over them. They joke about it; don't
even realize how sad, terrible, and serious this is!) My
friend did, finally, confess to me (just my rotten
luck)...several months after the incident. Well, I informed
the Church of The Holy Redeemer about this...and intend to
stay in touch as things progress in this case. I will soon
contact a detective I know...and perhaps CUAV (Community
United Against Violence). I have also informed all my friends
about this matter...some of whom believe I made it up. I do
not believe my friend (who witnessed the evidence) made this
story up. I am also writing a story about this; so I can
disseminate it across the computer networks...and everything
in the "fictional" tale will be accurate...so that, should
anything terrible happen again, plenty of people will be
alerted. I call the story, "The Box In The Fridge."
There has also been an arson attempt on my building two weeks
ago (in the apartment of someone I don't know)...but the
suspect used my name to get in! So I am working closely with
the police department, and the building manager. The suspect
is someone I had over several times; and was always very good
company. But something told me to keep him away...which I did
and, some time after that decision, he tried to burn down the
building (after an argument with the person renting the
apartment, for which the fellow was housecleaning.) That day,
he buzzed the managers to let him in, by saying he wanted to
visit me. Well, I was home then, and he never came to my
door! During the fire, I happened to be drinking coffee at
Without Reservations.
It is now my conclusion that this Satanic cult is using people
who know me, to work against me...by putting bad thoughts in
their minds about me; which they think is their own (hence
justified), and not an alien invasion. Sounds familiar,
doesn't it? Think of why you have been so hostile towards me,
for so long (before it's too late)!
If God truly intends me to die before we meet in this life, I
say to you, my Dearest Randolph: "You know the truth, now.
It is my gift to you, that you light The Candle, and carry it
in my name. Tell the world my story (you still have all my
letters and art work, don't you?)! Abundant blessings to you,
the only Sweetheart I care to love!"
I do not really believe I shall die...but you never know about
God. I, however, have absolute faith that I shall live
forever, in this body, and the whole world shall enter Heaven.
And I shall change into a lovely 16-year-old boy, "The Little
Angel Who Wouldn't Fly." It is not me who dares to dream The
Impossible Dream, but Our Father...and, though an incredible
mystery to me, He wants to put me in the limelight! Oh, well,
The Grand Joke is on me (my price for learning to love
myself).
Semper Fideles,
Little Pony (Luigi Unicorno)
==============================================================
March 11, 1989
Randolph Louis Taylor, Loveliest Unicorn Of All! (and
FirstPresident of the NuUnitedStatesofAmerica):
What do you think of changing the national currency to one
with pictures of unicorns? We can change the motto "E.
Pluribus Unum" to "E. Pluribus Unicornum"! And, after sending
the first horse to the moon (after, of course, designing the
space suit), we can have him proclaim the motto: "One small
step for a horse; one great leap for Homo Equinus." (I guess
the space capsule should be named "MR. ED 1"...unless you have
a better idea.)
Well, you are the best Father anyone could ever have. (I do
not claim to know everything, but I do know your spirit speaks
to me as God does, and my spirit speaks back as His Son. But
please also realize that I know I am Gene and no one else, and
that you are Randy. Now, may I go on and speak my praise for
you?) I guess someday very soon, you shall knock on my door,
while I am writing a letter to you...and you will be dressed
in white with a coin belt slung over your hips, for you ARE
The Good Humor Man! Meanwhile, I'm walking all over San
Francisco and Berkeley, telling everyone: "I am a
unicorn!"...during which time you are probably wandering
around D.C. and N.Y. saying: "Let me make one thing perfectly
clear: I am not God." Boy, do we make a pair! I love you
like nobody's business; and thank you for all the lessons you
have taught me. I know you bore much pain and sorrow on my
behalf, in order to help me become the sterling soldier I
demand to be. I know you are very wise, and know many things
about the universe that I have yet to discover. I know you
are thinking of me, as I type this letter...just as if you are
standing right here, with a loving hand on my shoulder (the
other hand is experimenting on certain areas which are too
embarrassing for me to mention).
I have become well-loved, here in the Bay Area...including
many lovely and intelligent young men (they are the salt of
the sea). But, in truth, I love you more than words can say,
and if you wanted me, I'd throw the rest away! Meanwhile,
while the Big Cat's away, this mouse shall play all day! (I
suspect that these boys are a gift from you, anyway.)
In a dream I slept with a horse with a horn
While the grass was being born.
And in the springtime we arose
With flowers between our toes.
Randy, I have reached the top of the Mountain Ridge, and far
below, on the other side, spread the Eternal Fields of
Elysium! I have made it, I have made it...come on and join me
(the water's fine)! The network that you and I have started
(you on the east coast, me on the west), has finally linked
hands, and is now spread across the entire country.
I have also discovered the real reason for the hole(s) in the
ozone layer: Heaven is overpopulated with unicorns! The
other day, when I called them to arms, I said, "Unicorns
unite!", but they chose to misinterpret my command...so that,
when I then said "Mount!", it was all over for me. As you
(should) know, unicorns are light-eaters, and graze upon the
ozone layer. But now, due to the population surplus, they are
eating more ozone than can be replaced! Soon, there won't be
enough ozone for them all, and they'll fly to earth, searching
for new pasture. Well, of course, they'll turn on to grass,
as its chlorophyll is predigested light. I, for one, intend
to always hang a planter full of grass out my window, so that
some unicorns shall always be hovering around my room (like
hummingbirds, only a lot bigger). Don't worry, I'm not
confusing unicorns with winged horses...unicorns actually
"glide," not "fly," much like bats, flying squirrels, and
pteranadons. (How many unicorns can perch on the head of a
pinhead? Are we having fun yet?)
Oh, how I love you, my wonderful Randy!
Yours always,
Little Pony Genie
==============================================================
May 10, 1989
Dearest Randy,
I have decided to distribute a collection of my letters to
you, in story form: "LOVE LETTERS FROM JESUS TO HIS DADDY
(abridged)" (abridged, because what letters I have copied and
kept are only about 10% of all my letters sent to you, since
January 1985...not to mention all those cards, cassette tapes,
and art work!).
No names, places, or dates have been changed to protect the
innocent (or guilty)...and I am not doing this out of any act
of vengeance towards you, but because I believe with all my
heart, that distribution of my letters will transform this sad
and troubled world into an eternal Paradise!
The "unabridged" version will become but one book in a larger
volume to be called: "The Final Testament -or- The REAL
Satanic Verses", which will be an enormous, multi-media "book"
about 11" by 14" large. All my letters, some of which are
handwritten, some computer-printed, will be duplicated exactly
like the originals...only with illuminated manuscript and
designs around the border of each page. This includes all the
lovely cards I sent you (some of which you used to cover an
entire wall of your hospital room at the D.C. VAMC)...which
shall be duplicated exactly as they are, so they will pop-out
in 3-D, from my master volume. Got the idea? Well, the
expense is beyond me, so I must leave this to the Angels to
accomplish...as they said they would, in a dream I had two
years ago.
The abridged version of "Love Letters" is now being
distributed across the computer bulletin board services (which
means it will eventually travel around the world). And I also
handed one high-quality printout to a trusted friend, who is
also the best bartender in S.F. I instructed him to make a
few copies to disseminate among his friends. (The seed has
been planted, let the Lotus Flower blossom!) Obviously, this
book will become an underground cult classic in the Gay
Community.
Sue me, sue me: what can you do me?
I LOVE YOU!
---finis