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© 2002 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)

From:     Foster Boodlewite, Thought Editor, The Mendocino Mosquito
To:       My Loyal Readers who are also Loyal Patriots
Subject:  Gay Activism Has Really Turned Queer

I thought the good folks of these gay and activist news groups
would enjoy my interjecting my very exasperated feelings about
Ezekiel Krahlin's dangerous intrusion into national
politics...due to the absurd ruckus he is able to stir up by
his uncanny ability to manipulate the English language. And
apparently, that's the only gift he has.

He's a one-trick pony. Nonetheless, if this lunatic charms too
many people he can wind up being a dangerous marriage of
Svengali and Hitler! (And I'm sure you people didn't have THAT
in mind, when you cooked up "domestic partnership" laws.)

If child-guard Internet programs could only do one thing...I'd
want more than anything else, for them to block Mr. Krahlin's
site from ever seeing the light of day in the presence of an
innocent child's eyes. All of whom we know would grow up
STRAIGHT as an arrow if subversive geeks like "Zeekers"
wouldn't amuse themselves by thinking the world is their
plaything, and that terrorizing people is a fun way of winning
a point.

And it is one reader's desperate appeal (posted below) for a
massive overhaul of the Internet anti-pornography laws, that
opened my eyes to this menace who claims copyright over The
Final Testament, which he believes usurps the previous two
Testaments! (Besides, I thought the Final Testament's sources
were almost as quizzical as the other two. Who REALLY wrote it
remains forever shrouded in the misty past of a few
nanoseconds ago, so it's too late to do anything about it.)

I think we need to start teaching again, in the classrooms of
every fifth grader across this Great Nation, the dangers of
people like Ezekiel, Socrates, Jesus, Buddha, and Rodney
Dangerfield. See what happens when you pervert the definition
of free speech to accommodate limousine-liberal bleeding
hearts, by embracing "Gaybonics" under the Free-Speech

---begin letter:

From:     Irate Citizen
To:       The Mendocino Mosquito
Subject:  Ezekiel Krahlin (militant sodomite a.k.a. 
          "Jehovah's Queer Witness")

Dear Editor of the Mendo Mosquito,

I recently logged onto an *ahem* interesting (so
to speak) web site, "", run by some
harmless lunatic who makes a whopping big deal
that he is gay, only because an unabashedly
glamorous Marine once paid him some attention for
a short, short while. Well, his heterophobic
ranting scrolls are funny I must admit, but I'm
afraid we're all laughing AT you, Ezekiel, not
WITH you. But one particular rant you unraveled
across my monitor really made me wake up and smell
the ersatz: "Learn How You Can Prepare For The
Global Civil War, Yet Still Manage To Show Up
Fashionably Late!"

I hope after reading my outraged letter, you will
seriously consider removing that one especially
hurtful screed, when there is so much you could
gain by that simple self-censorship. And please:
we've all suffered more than enough
"slippery-slope" maniac posturing idiot conspiracy
theorists--including gay gadflies like Tom
Keske--to last us all many, many lifetimes.

Well, Ezekiel, you may have intended your smug
know-it-all hybrid hippie/queer title to be a
facetious comment undesirous of an
sure are you of your Righteous Gay Benevolence.
But, Ezekiel, I DO have an answer, even if you
DON'T want to hear it. And I am going to SHOUT
that answer from every rooftop of my loyal America
(or as you so treasonously enjoy calling God's
Country "Amerika"!)

Through the telegraph, the telephone, the
newspaper, and the new-fangled radio...I will
SHOUT that answer over and over again, until it
permeates even THAT thick skull of yours. So Mr.
Krahlin, here is my answer to your snide
challenge, and a very terse answer at that:

"Get shot for treason."

A Patriot of Texas,

Arnold B. Gassman
Professional Taxidermist Xsellentay

  "Stuffing and preserving illegal
  Mexican immigrants is our business
  --our only business."

---end of letter

Zeke for Gay President, 2004:


Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and 
credit to the original author.

J. Krahlin