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Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and 
credit to the original author.

Ezekiel J. Krahlin


© 1997 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)

                                     June 20, 1990

Dear Editor:

     Indeed, illuminating the Empire State Building is a
historic milestone for the Lesbian/Gay which
should give us all reason to burst with pride.  But it also
tickles my (ahem) "funny bone" to realize that we couldn't
have chosen a better phallic symbol of the modern world, than
the Empire State Building!  Since the "erection" of this great
monument to "Big Dick" in 1931, there have been bigger (and
better?) ones raised across the cityscapes of the world's
great metropolises.  But I am not a size queen, and the Empire
State Building (17,664 inches tall-- enough to skewer 2,208
marines, when averaged at an ample 8 inches per tool!) is more
than adequate for my needs.  Now that we have glorified the
Phallus of Manhatten in ruddy purple, it is time to move on to
greater and more illustrious well as give
equal time to lesbians.

     In both color and shape, the pink triangle serves as a
fine symbol for the female gender of our homophile community.
I therefore propose painting one side of the Great Pyramid at
Cheops pink...making it the largest pink triangle in the world
(and in history).  To achieve this monumental feat, 1,000
members of ACT/UP can charter airline flights to Egypt,
equipped with an adequate supply of weather-proof pink
spraypaint, goggles, and protective face-masks.  (A number of
ACT/UP members can be trained to seduce the Egyptian guards,
in order for the 900-plus activists to fulfill the task at
hand.)  And, with the surplus paint, the insurgents can tour
Cairo and "paint the town pink" with cutesy little boys-and-
girls-with-arms-akimbo, before their scheduled return flight
home. (This proposal, of course, must take place under cover
of night; I leave the remaining logistics up to the actual

     Why stop with The Empire State Building and The Great
Pyramid?  What about:  The Vatican, The Great Wall of China,
Machu Picchu, The Rock of Gibralter, Easter Island,
Stonehenge, The Taj Mahal, Red Square, Mount Everest, The
Blarney Stone, Tinker Toys, The White House, Lake Xochimilco,
Avon Ladies, Mount Rushmore, The Amazon Jungle, Iran, and The
Milky Way?

     I drool over the unlimited potentials for "aesthetic
activism" inspired by the purpling of The Empire State
Building.  The pen and (by extension to all creative mediums)
the paintbrush, are indeed mightier than the sword!