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(no apologies to Jonathan Swift)

© 1997 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)

     I hate babies.  Pushed in our faces in ever-increasing
numbers up and down the sidewalks of our queer neighborhoods
in cute little pink and blue strollers, they are symbols made
flesh of heterosexist arrogance.  These subhuman breeders are
the real perverts, for using their own children as front-line
artillery in this war on same-sex lovers.  Their disdain,
hatred and (sometimes) fear is written all over their monkey
faces.  Perhaps they will think twice about "strolling" our
neighborhoods, once an outraged queer wrests a pudgy, howling
blob of protoplasm from its stroller and tosses it into a
mailbox for overnight delivery.  (Or once a basher is bashed
back and roped to a tree in a queer area of a city park,
entrails spilled onto his lap with a sign on his chest:
"Homophobe".)  Don't tell me that you, queer reader, do not
also entertain such thoughts of retribution from time to time.

     The historical roots of modern homophobia lie in the
early Hebrews' need to propagate in order to outnumber their
tribal enemies.  Thus it became a heinous sin for any male to
"spill seed" outside of a woman's "vessel".  Same-sex love was
therefore incorporated by their religious leaders to be an
abomination in the eyes of God.  (Christianity's emergence
carried forth this heterosexist supremacy into modern times
with a vengeance so cruel, that it can only be deemed a mass
insanity or psychosis.)  Perhaps this extreme measure was a
necessary evil, as a matter of survival to a tribe threatened
with annihilation by enemies on every side.  But that was
several thousand years ago, and now we live in a world far too
populated for its own well-being.

     Perhaps it is time for God to reverse the ancient law of
homophobia and declare it a sin *not* to waste seed.  Perhaps
we should no longer "turn the other cheek" (to use the
fundamentalists' own Christian terminology), but revert to the
ancient Mosaic law of "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth"
(or in this case, a baby for a queer).  Perhaps it is time for
a "New Passover"--only this one for queers--sacrificing the
hetero firstborn of every breeder as Yahweh's warning to give
us our freedom.  Perhaps the act of "breeding" (without strict
social guidelines) should now be made a crime punishable by
death.  Enforced spilling of seed anywhere except in a woman's
vessel may be the "necessary evil" to save us from global
disaster--and will put new meaning in the phrase "turn the
other cheek".

     Remember, homophobic swine:  you do not *make* a
baby--only genetics (read "God") can do that.  Woman is just
the vessel. It is how you raise a child that counts...which
has nothing to do with whether one's parents are "natural" or
not.  As a matter of fact, the current rise in child abuse
(and neglect) by heterosexist parents, is so alarming that
even a test tube would provide a safer haven to these hapless
offspring.  It takes no brains to insert rod A into slot B,
which is the only reason you illiterate homophobic simians can
breed at all. And the only reason most of you breed your
brains out is to assure each other that you are not
homosexual--with your fleshly offspring as your "Good
Housekeeping Seal Of Approval" to parade before us queers in
our own neighborhoods.  Stop screwing, and read a good book
for once in your life.


Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and 
credit to the original author.

Ezekiel J. Krahlin