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© 1997 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)

February 13, 1997

Dear Compatriots of Same-Sex Love:

There is one particular phrase that those phobic fundies use against our homophile population; whose refrain I am so tired of hearing, that I decided to compose this letter as a rebuttal. I invite others to use it as a weapon against those jerks...or as an introspective tool for self centering.

We of the SSL (same-sex lover) persuasion are all too familiar with the insulting--albeit clever--slur, "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". It is usually spoken by either: (1) a post-adolescent punk who ejaculates wads of saliva every two minutes to affirm what he perceives as masculinity,

or (2) some hairy-nosed reptilian fundamentalist old fogey,

or (3) a neatly groomed young lady who thinks she is God's gift to men, and sneers at the idea of any male desiring someone of the same sex instead of her!

Indeed, in the Christian/Muslim/Judaic world views, God did first create a heterosexual pair to start the race. I have no argument here. But that is only the blueprint for human intimacy, and nothing more. He also made each of us a mini-creator in our own right; shaping nature to suit our own needs and desires, including one's appearance and behavior. For example: God did not make Adam without facial hair, and Eve without leg or armpit hair (or let us assume so, for the sake of argument). Yet many of us choose to shave it off.

God did not give us wings to fly, yet gave us a brilliant mind to conceive of ways to do doubt inspired by His other great creation: birds. So now we have many ways to float ourselves in the air, some simple, some complex: swings, trampolines, jets, hang gliders, and helicopters, to name but a few.

Does bread grow on trees? No, God did not make bread. It is the descendants of Eve and Adam who ground up grains into a fine flour, then, mixed with honey and yeast for leavening, rolled it into balls of dough and exposed them to the heat of an enclosed fire to produce what is known as the staff of life in most parts of the world.

Alright, you say, these examples are well and good...but where does one draw the line on what things humans can create or manipulate that are dangerous, immoral, or otherwise just plain wrong...particularly, in the realm of sexuality? One standard is determined on the grounds of whether or not what you do injures another, or has the potential to do so. Certainly, two consenting adults of the same sex who form a romantic and sexual bond with each other, do no injury to anyone. This is common sense. They actually enhance the condition of the human race by their positive energies. The only potential "harm" I see, is to shattering the fat egos of bigoted folk who don't want to give up their homophobic delusions (which are injurious in so many nasty ways).

By the same token, I would gladly pass a law against bestiality, even though there does not seem to be any injured third party. This is because I believe one must, at a certain point, draw the line. I would also draw the line on lewd behavior in public, whether it be from heterosexuals or homosexuals. Kissing, hugging, love-petting: fine and dandy, a good thing to see. Explicit sexual acts in parks, rest rooms, or on the streets: arrest 'em!

So as I said earlier, the heterosexual model is only a blueprint. Homosexuality is a normal deviation for approximately ten percent of any population. Though I believe that, once homophobia is eradicated, a much higher proportion of citizens will breathe a great sigh of relief and leap into a bisexual or same-sex alternative...once there is no danger or intimidation attached to those choices. Far fewer people will get sucked into obligatory marriages and breeding of unwanted (hence unhappy) children. Sounds pretty sane to me.

I also believe that the day will come--and soon--when developing nations will promote same-sex relationships as a healthy solution to overpopulation. Billboards will be scattered throughout their lands, depicting two women or men in wholesome, intimate, and loving associations. It will then catch on to the "advanced" societies.

So when some dimwit

throws you a curve with the hokey "Adam and Steve" sermon, ask him if he shaves (or if she uses birth control). And point out one more intriguing observation:

How peculiar it is that so much homophobic vitriol emanates from a religion that reveres, adores, and weeps over the love between two beautiful men...and even considers them "The Greatest Story Ever Told"! It seems that if these perversely neurotic souls were not the blatant hypocrites they are; they would flock to every gay neighborhood and applaud all the same-sex couples passing by. They would weep and dance with joy each time they sight a lesbian or gay couple who exchange a loving touch, a hungry kiss, or a bountiful hug. They would be worshipping the very ground we walk on, and clear our path with fronds of date palms.

Ho-hum. This too shall come to pass. Soon enough, soon enough.